Here's the deal: if you think that the thing that defines a man is having a penis, and you get real mad about gender-neutral gingerbread people, you're saying that gingerbread men have penises.
Like, I'm sorry, I wasn't the one who adopted an idea of gender that is entirely genitals-focused, that was you all, and the result is that gingerbread men all come with swingin' hogs now.
Get ready to modify your cookie cutters this year, folks, because the next thing that the powerful transgender lobby is going to stop you from giving your gingerbread men the detailed, realistic meat sticks they deserve.
That's right, liberals: stop trying to take away our god-given right to craft the perfect one-eyed trouser snake for our gingerbread men.
The transgender agenda is to keep god-fearing conservatives from making gingerbread as god intended: with pulsing, erect pork swords dangling between their legs.
If you aren't a FILTHY LIBERAL COMMIE, you'll do your DUTY and SEND YOUR CHILD TO SCHOOL with a full plate of DETAILED GINGERBREAD PHALLUSES, complete with detailed icing vein work, because that's what GOD meant GENDER to be.
There are DEFINITELY real people who are upset by "gingerbread men", and I'll show you that I'm superior to them, because my spicy christmas cookies come equipped with a throbbing pleasure stick between their legs.
THEY'RE GINGERBREAD MEN, THEY HAVE DICKS, AND THEY FUCK. DEAL WITH IT, CULTURAL MARXIST SCUM
I 🎄LOVE🎄MY🎄COOKIE'S🎄HUGE🎄POWERFUL 🎄TURGID 🎄LOVE 🎄 STAFF
My cookies all are MEN and they have GLISTENING GENDER ORGANS that were given to them by GOD IN HEAVEN to PENETRATE their LAWFUL WIVES.
It's just not Christmas if I can't share a batch of cookies with THROBBING LUST MISSILES with my children, AS GOD INTENDED WHEN HE SENT HIS ONLY GIVEN SON TO EARTH
These PINKOS want to take away my cookie's HOT, SWOLLEN PLEASURE PISTOL and that is why THEY are the REAL FASCISTS.
ANTIFA IS COMING FOR YOUR COOKIE'S ROCK-HARD, SINEWY CIS STICK
MY COOKIES HAD BETTER BE BELLY-BUSTING AND I DON'T MEAN FROM EATING TOO MANY.
I'M TUCKER CARLSON AND I DEMAND THAT MY CHRISTMAS COOKIES BE IN POSSESSION OF A MOLASSES-FILLED THICK-VEINED PLEASURE ROD. THAT'S JUST BIOLOGY.
THESE NEUTERED COOKIES HAVE TURNED A GENERATION OF CHILDREN INTO GAY HOMO TROTSKYISTS WHO HATE AMERICA
okay i'm not gonna be able to top "sinewy cis stick", gnight y'all
