My whole life, I was told I asked too many questions. My mum would encourage me to ask but teachers and neighbours would consistently shut me up when she wasn’t there. So, I toned it down and simply HOPED that what I thought things were, were what they really are.
Examples:
Examples:
1. If I had asked my former boss to explain to me why I wasn’t getting my pension statements and Tax reports, I would have known sooner from his response that he lacked integrity and empathy.
Instead, I HOPED he would see how hard I worked and not cheat me that way. I goofed!
Instead, I HOPED he would see how hard I worked and not cheat me that way. I goofed!
2. I should have asked my ex fiancée why he changed his stories a lot, why his office was always empty. It even occurred to me to ask, ”why does your sister often refer to you as a liar?”
I Should have asked sooner why I saw ZERO results from all that money he borrowed from me.
I Should have asked sooner why I saw ZERO results from all that money he borrowed from me.
I didn’t want to embarrass him so I HOPED he wasn’t a liar.
3. I should have asked my former staff if she was enjoying her job because she seemed unfulfilled, less willing to go the extra mile and made repetitive mistakes. Instead, I HOPED she was okay and that she’d do better.
3. I should have asked my former staff if she was enjoying her job because she seemed unfulfilled, less willing to go the extra mile and made repetitive mistakes. Instead, I HOPED she was okay and that she’d do better.
4. My ex impregnated his ex-girlfriend before we began dating. One day, he said to me, “she forcefully moved in with me, her parents pushed her out”
What I should have asked then was: “Forcefully moved in? Are you a child? Do you want to stick with her for the sake of the baby?”
What I should have asked then was: “Forcefully moved in? Are you a child? Do you want to stick with her for the sake of the baby?”
Instead, I kept my mouth shut so as not to push him away into the other “desperate lady’s” arm. So, I HOPED he would act right by me since I loved him dearly and didn’t deserve to be treated shabbily.
This was years ago, the lady still lives with him, they have a baby together.
This was years ago, the lady still lives with him, they have a baby together.
5. I should have asked a former friend, “why does my success bother you so much? Am I doing something to make you resent me? Would you like us to discontinue this friendship?”
Instead, I stopped talking to her and now there’s bad energy anytime she’s within 6 feet.
Instead, I stopped talking to her and now there’s bad energy anytime she’s within 6 feet.
If I had asked these questions, I would have known for a fact where we both stand and if we have to be in the same room, the atmosphere would be tolerable because we now both have true knowledge of how we perceive each other.
We ask questions about things we don’t know or because we are searching for information/clarification.
What exactly is wrong with that?
Having gone through all of the above and then some, I decided I would no longer be ashamed to ask about things I wanted and needed to know.
What exactly is wrong with that?
Having gone through all of the above and then some, I decided I would no longer be ashamed to ask about things I wanted and needed to know.
Present day:
Anyone who can’t answer my question(s) is uncomfortable about the answers and/or hiding something(s).
So, I step back! And, until I get clarification to what bothers me, I will not assume but I will also not move forward with that relationship/ business.
Anyone who can’t answer my question(s) is uncomfortable about the answers and/or hiding something(s).
So, I step back! And, until I get clarification to what bothers me, I will not assume but I will also not move forward with that relationship/ business.
The real danger is not in ASKING...
The real DANGER is in NOT asking questions. The purpose is to gain knowledge so as to make informed decisions.
If you’re reading this, those questions you’ve been afraid to ask, ask them today. Let no one -subtly- bully you into silence.
The real DANGER is in NOT asking questions. The purpose is to gain knowledge so as to make informed decisions.
If you’re reading this, those questions you’ve been afraid to ask, ask them today. Let no one -subtly- bully you into silence.
YOU DESERVE TO KNOW!
I promise you, ignorance is not bliss.
Your future self will thank you.
I promise you, ignorance is not bliss.
Your future self will thank you.
