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diaryofanaijagirl.ng @DANGposts
, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
Quick stop at the hospital, I'm minding my business, the door opens, I don't care. The person is on the phone, speaking Hausa really fast and laughing. I look up and it was like I had seen Thor in real life... and that Hausa sounded like waje' s voice: sweet and sexy.
I am automatically well. Flu has disappeared and I look on and listen to him say, "fjrltbtl6orbslfbdbsldjdbd." He looks at me, I smile at him, then he walks towards me. Stretches his hand for a shake, "dgdjfjrbrkshrjtjrhdjtjtjtj"

Me: MUTE, shaking my head but still smiling.
"Oh. I thought you understood what I was saying and you were smiling at my joke." Thor says. The Hausa accent is strong, English language well enunciated.

"I don't speak nor understand Hausa. Only numbers 1-10," I said, still smiling.

"I can teach you. We can start from 11-20"
Thor says, his eyes go from face to my boobies which was well covered but could be slightly seen through my black cotton t-shirt, "huh? What do you say? I teach you Hausa and you allow me take you to dinner soon?"

That was when it happened...
He smiled with all his teeth, and one dimpled appeared. He smiled wider, the second one appeared.

Oluwa ooooooooo. Hausa people come and carry your brother. No way! Handsome and double dimple with smooth operator toasting degree.

"Ife. Ife," I hear my doctors voice.

I ESCAPE!
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I may have told you about Mama Tutu, if you haven’t read about her in any of my previous stories, let me re-introduce her.

#thread #FlashbackFriday
We lived in a compound with a story building of four flats Mama Tutu and Mama Ngozi lived on the ground floor while Sisi Mi, our landlady and Mama Bimbo (My mama) lived on the first floor. Mama Tutu’s flat was below ours while Mama Ngozi’s flat was below Simi Mi’s.
Mama Tutu was the only university graduate in our compound and she never hesitated to let the mothers know, and the kids too. This was why we spoke very little vernacular and zero pidgin around her because she would come down on you like a hammer.
Read 22 tweets
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Here’s my 2018 testimony. Out of many, I’ll share this one.

#thread
In November 2017 I had an idea to produce a masterclass series that would be watched for free by all and paid for by brands that care about educating and enriching people’s lives. I didn’t know any brand that wanted to come on, I wasn’t even looking.
I just knew that if I concentrated on doing a world standard job, the work would speak for itself.

Listen, that was a bit Naive.

January 2018, I went on a limb and bought equipment for shoot: Cameras, lights, etc. I was ready but only two instructors had agreed to do it.
Read 17 tweets
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MY HISTORY: THE DANGERS AND CONSEQUENCES OF NOT ASKING.

#Thread
My whole life, I was told I asked too many questions. My mum would encourage me to ask but teachers and neighbours would consistently shut me up when she wasn’t there. So, I toned it down and simply HOPED that what I thought things were, were what they really are.

Examples:
1. If I had asked my former boss to explain to me why I wasn’t getting my pension statements and Tax reports, I would have known sooner from his response that he lacked integrity and empathy.

Instead, I HOPED he would see how hard I worked and not cheat me that way. I goofed!
Read 13 tweets

Related threads

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☝THREAD on #HiviteTactics : Want to out [Them]? Speak a stark truth. Watch for any gaslighting or attempts to twist the subject. They can't refute truth, so they try to deflect and confuse the issue. It's very subtle sometimes. These people are stupid, but they're clever.
☝An (actual) example would be: I say that Luciferian Hivites designed our languages to be equally usable both straightforward and inversely, so that they could have a means of communication that is hidden in plain sight.
☝A person immediately begins to try and gaslight me, telling me that I just "think" they created things. That only God creates. They just fooled people into "thinking" they did any of this. The goal of gaslighting is to get you to question your perception of reality.
Read 39 tweets
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So, I've waded through the Evangelical Alliance's new pastoral "guidelines" for interacting with trans people (ughh, the things I do to expose #transphobic #ciswits to the world), and let's just say it's time to tear this particular sh*t-bag a new hole.

1/n
CW: #Transphobia, #ConversionTherapy, #Zucker, #Religiously #driven #zealotry

2/n
So, straight off the bat, first page of text, the use of #language is . . . well, yeah, see for yourself:

"It is important to remember that transgender is not simply an issue to be debated;" - p5, #Transformed

*sigh*

When such language gets reinforced by insisting...

3/n
Read 176 tweets
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Marketing #fail of the month: I visited the big @TMobile store in Burbank, CA - planning on getting the new @oneplus 6T, but the @petelau2007 @JohnLegere love-fest is going to go sour very shortly, if my experience was any indicator.
Staff not only had zero product knowledge of the phone, but clearly didn't even care. I casually asked what the phone specs were (storage, camera), and the store associate begrudgingly took out his own phone to research the answer via the Web.
There were no specs displayed beside the only 6T in the store, shoved in a back corner. There was no @oneplus product-specific signage whatsoever. A basic rule of product marketing & sales is that you have to both #Know about your product, and #Care about it.
Read 5 tweets
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Someone recently told me that the pressure cookers from the 1980s were more reliable than the ones we get today & 3 whistles meant perfectly cooked rice every single time whereas the modern ones were temperamental. I think there's an interesting reason here
I think this perception comes from what is a rather widespread misunderstanding of how pressure cookers work. A significant percentage of the Indian population measures pressure cooking time in "whistles" and not actual elapsed time at maximum pressure
So, a quick recap of how pressure cookers work. If you boil water in an air-tight vessel, pressure will build up, and that in turn increases the boiling point of water, which then continues to stay liquid at well above 100 Celsius & thus cooks food faster
Read 11 tweets
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Revelation 4:1-11 💒
"The Throne in Heaven"
New International Version
1) "After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.”
2) "At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it."
Read 12 tweets
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1) Few things I noticed from the sheriffs statement.
2) "Investigators have not determined why Paddock stopped shooting"

Have they ruled out suicide?
3) "Lombardo said they found about 4,000 more rounds of unused ammunition in the gunman’s suite."

Seems he had a lot more ammo he could of used. (Thank god he didn't)
Read 7 tweets

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