Thread by @stagrunner

To explain: many trans masc are Socialized Female™️. (FTR trans masc ppl being socialized female/experiencing female socialization does not mean trans women are ‘male socialized’- they are different experiences & Male Socialization is common TERF rhetoric 2 demonize trans women)

“Female Socialization” is a broad phrase, but for the sake of this thread we’ll say it encompasses: social cues, pressures, fears & behaviors that we internalize into girls from a young age. Don’t speak up, don’t take up too much space. If ur attacked it’s ur fault etc. All of it

Trans masc people are raised in a misogynistic society, forcibly indoctrinated by the same misogynistic socialization as women, and critically most CONTINUE to experience it after discovering their identity (except now with BONUS DYSPHORIA along w the sexism!).

Being socialized female means trans masc people are intimately familiar with the fear & anxiety inherent to being female in a misogynistic society. That fear (and actual DANGER) remains. Specifically: the fear & anxiety regarding (cis) men. Idk if I’ll ever be free of that fear.

That is a huge proponent of one of the most common experiences trans masc people face: the fear of accepting their identity or sharing it with people for fear of rejection. Knowing why your peers hate men/ likely being in that boat!- but terrified of abuse/rejection 4 IDing masc.

I experienced it. Many trans masc ppl I know have experienced it. I actively watched people experience it. It’s an agonizing space to be in: miserable (and often dysphoric) because you’re either aware & hiding your ID or actively fighting accepting yourself. It’s Very Real.

“But Stag, that sounds like an unfounded fear!”

Sometimes it is. Trans masc ppl tend to receive significantly less attention & by proxy understanding than some other IDs. (*2 b clear; the hyper visibility forced upon trans women is Not Good & I’m not talking about that.)

Which is to say: most of your peers with a brain aren’t going to reject you even if they’re not significantly familiar with trans masculine identities. Generally those who Would are like, flat out TERFs & are easy to ignore bc they put themselves w phrases like Gender Traitor etc

But no. It’s a real fear & I have seen trans masc ppl not only affected by it, but unaware it’s happening. It isn’t full blown TERF dogwhistling (oddly, I usually see it accompanied by borderline hero worshipping/fetishizing trans women), but the ideals are frighteningly similar.

Ppl with brains can recognize that trans men can be real men while simultaneously experiencing misogyny & not benefiting from patriarchy. That trans men do not magically start benefitting from patriarchy bc they change the pronouns in their Twitter Bio. Misogyny isn’t that easy.

But there are legit cis wmn out there, either thru words or really sketchy/scummy actions, that perpetuate the idea that not only are trans men As Bad Or Worse than cis men, but that in embracing their ID they have 0 idea abt what misogyny is & are Agents of Patriarchy by default

It’s legit! I’ve seen it, and I’ve watched other trans masc ppl defend this borderline-terf rhetoric (often presented under the guise of just being feminism). I’ve watched these ppl lash out @ trans men and harassing them, bc it’s “OK” bc the person they’re abusing is a man.

The reason it works, the reason trans masc ppl will often literally jump 2 condemn other trans masc ppl (calling other trans masc ppl By Large are misogynistic, transmisogynists etc in spite of reality), goes back 2 what I said before: fear of rejection for being trans masc.

One of the biggest discussions I see in trans masc spaces is ppl who pass asking how they can make themselves less intimidating to women. their greatest pain in passing is that women are warier around them now.

We cherish our sisters. We’re devastated to lose closeness w them.

All that fear, pain & sense of isolation can make trans masc ppl very susceptible to manipulation & abuse. It leaves them open 2 suggestion that trans masc ppl are not only bad, but that to be a ‘good’ trans masc person u need to be subservient, quiet, never disagree.

It’s not dissimilar to the socialization forced upon us from a young age.

I don’t really have an end to this thread & I’m really sorry for those who read this far expecting one! I really hope 2019 is the year ppl take a more critical lens to how trans men are subtly vilified by some sects of the community.

I’ve just. I’ve known 2 many trans masc ppl harmed by predatory transphobes who target trans men (and often cis gay men) as objects of their hatred. 2019 I’m not Fucking w/ it anymore.

I’m both glad & sad this has resonated w/ ppl & to my Brothers I wanna say:

You’re not bad for being trans masc.
You’re not alone.
Your journey is your own & no matter where it takes you, what interests & aesthetics you accrue, you’re still a Real Man.

💙💙💙