Thread by @cmclymer

Look, I don't know Chris Pratt, and I never will. I'm only familiar with his work onscreen. But I know how churches like @Hillsong work because I've attended a church like it. Let me take you on a tour of the culture. (thread)

Quick disclaimer: I'm a church-going Christian. I have my own personal relationship with God. I'm also a flaming liberal and a proud trans woman. I also am a big believer that people should mind their own goddamn business and keep religion out of government. So, with that...

Imagine that all the bad shit in Christianity remains but now it's dressed up in really soft, warm sermons and concert-like worship services with stage lights and fashionable preachers and a heavy emphasis on pop music and youth-centered messaging. Hateful w/ an Instagram charm.

Everyone is super friendly, and it's mostly genuine! These churches create a strong sense of community that makes people feel good, like they're part of a family. Like they belong. Newcomers show up, and they don't have to make an effort to connect. All the work is done for you.

And many of the folks a newcomer meets really do care. They want to know more about you. They want to help you. They want to connect. You join a small group (think bible study but very chill and loose). You do meals after service w/ folks. You go on trips. You make friends.

To people who are in pain or have been missing a sense of family, these churches feel great at first. They did for me. I didn't really have a family. My parents were abusive. I felt worthless and abandoned. These very nice people made me feel loved for the first time in my life.

I was really young and felt lonely. Overnight, I had a family. People my age would call to ask if I wanted to go hangout. Older married couples would take me out to dinner. A pastor there invited me to his house and nonchalantly slipped me $100. "Sewing blessings" it's called.

I put the $100 in the collection plate next Sunday because it felt uncomfortable. It felt weird. I honestly think he was trying to be nice and communicate that he and his wife cared, but I didn't ask for that. I didn't need it. And it was a bit overwhelming. Too much. Creepy.

Things are great in these churches until they're not. My first clue was on a young adults group hike in a nearby national park where one of the older members told me that LGBTQ people are sinful by nature, and I need to "cool it in this group" with any talk about LGBTQ rights.

The anti-LGBTQ, anti-woman, vaguely-racist, vaguely-xenophobic sentiments aren't done in sermons so much as in social settings. Offhand comments or jokes. Coded language or events with themes that may focus on gender roles. It's a neat trick: pastor keeps his hands clean.

Except when they don't! The head pastor of our church liked to slip-in thinly-veiled references supporting conservative politics. At times, he would start a sentence after saying a word like "lifestyles", shake his head and go "Nope, better not. Don't wanna cause trouble."

And again, it's such a fun trick. Technically, the pastor avoids saying something explicitly political or endorsing a party or being anti-LGBTQ or anti-woman but no rational adult in the audience misses the implication. The opinion was expressed, just not said out loud.

Gender roles are emphasized again and again. There are conferences held for women in which they're encouraged to "lift up their husbands" and encourage them as leaders. Women can have careers, sure--lawyers, doctors, whatever--as long as they let their husband lead the family.

The man is the leader. You will never in your life see a woman as head pastor of one of these churches unless she's, um, "co-leading" with a husband or her husband has died and she's more of a transitional figure. Women can be pastors, sure, as long as a man is in charge.

LGBTQ folks are welcome as long as they're not, you know, THEMSELVES in church settings. Don't be queer and bring your opposite-sex partner to a service, and if you do, don't kiss or introduce them as your partner. I have never known of an openly trans person in these settings.

The name of the game is "love the sinner, hate the sin", which is great for folks who are drawn to this community but aren't super down with homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc. It gives them a pass in their minds. The church doesn't HATE queer folks, just their "lifestyle".

Racism is quite common. A minefield of micro-aggressions. There are many people of color in these churches, and they have mastered the art of patience or maybe they're screaming internally. Either way, they're drawn to the community for other reasons and ignore racist comments.

I have heard white members of these churches say the phrase "those people" with the precise implication normally associated with it numerous times. Dog whistles galore, everything short of explicitly racist epithets.

The finances are always shady and more than likely illegal in some way. The pastors are always selling something. Sometimes, half the service is a pitch for tithing. Guest pastors have a book you need to buy. Etc. etc. etc.

On the day of the 2008 election, our entire church was sent a mass email by the pastoral staff with a link to a USA Today article about the election and a link to Obama's record supporting abortion. There was no editorial comment, but the message was clear.

Because the pastoral staff sent it to a mass email list instead of a proper listserv, I replied all with a long email outlining why it was inappropriate and probably illegal and that maybe the church staff shouldn't do that. This did not go over well.

When you challenge church leadership on clear lines of ethics, you are shunned. There is no formal decree or some other nonsense. You can still come to church. People just stop inviting you to things. They stop calling. Pastors will pretend you're not there when you show up.

There is no nuance or healthy transparency in churches like @Hillsong, which, by the way, is considered THE standard for these churches. Their model is widely imitated. Nice and inspiring and warm... until they're not. There is pressure to conform. It is a cult w/ good marketing.

I stayed at my old church for as long as I did because I thought I could be a positive influence. Instead, I was slowly cut out for questioning things. In the years since, I've randomly connected with many other former members. Same notes. The playbook is consistent.

Chris Pratt believes that this church family of his will always give him a sense of belonging. And since he's a cisgender, straight white dude, that's totally 100% true. But as we speak, he's ignoring the parts that are concerning. The anti-LGBTQ piece being the most glaring.

As we speak, Chris Pratt is reconciling the love for his church with his feelings of empathy for the folks in his life who are LGBTQ or Muslim or Atheist or who have any logical sense of the agency of women over their own bodies.

I guarantee Chris Pratt is being pressured to speak out against abortion and LGBTQ rights and all the rest. And he probably will in the same banal, neutered, faux-warm language used by churches like Hillsong. He will rationalize all of this in his own mind.

Without warning, Chris Pratt will be put in the uncomfortable position of alienating people that love him and that he loves--gay friends, women who really like having choices over their own bodies and being respected, etc.--and he'll try to make it all work. Spoiler: it will not.

Chris Pratt is happy in his new community, and these folks are his family. But the cracks will appear and doubts will linger, and he'll either make the choice to reexamine his new community in a new light or ignore the clear problems. Time will tell. Prayers up, Chris. /thread

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