Thread by @zenpeacekeeper

This past weekend I went on a big walk. The threads some of you have done of your big walks have given me so much joy, I feel such a need for a bit more joy, that I decided to share some pictures and moments from my walk. Maybe they'll give you a smile this Monday morning.

First challenge was getting out of Wellington after work on a Friday. After a false start, (forgot shoes) and a stop in Paraparaumu (for a sunhat, chapstick and burger) we finally left Otaki Forks at 7.30pm, in a gorgeous golden light.

It's about two hours climb to the lovely, historic Field Hut and light of my headlamp revealed a healthy spider population in them there woods. At Field, a tiny crescent moon and the last glow of the setting sun welcomed us.

We got there at 9.30pm. 3 people were already there, playing cards & drinking whisky as required by hut law. They'd also walked in from Otaki and were planning to head back out the next day. For a second I thought about leaving w them. We'd barely started & I was already tired.

My wiser half had asked several times if I was sure I was ready for such a big mission, so soon after Dad's death. I was convinced it was just what I need. But even by Field I had an inkling I might be more tired than I'd factored. But off we set, the next morning, for Anderson.

And as soon as you come out of the bush onto the ridgeline above Field Hut, you remember why you love to climb hills. In the morning light, the clouds were already blowing away to reveal the kinds of views that Tararua explorers dream about on the (more common) claggy days.

I’d struggle to think of anywhere I’d rather be than up on these ridges on a good day. Morning tea break above the clouds. And since we weren’t running, we had had room in our pack for treats like Over the Moon cheese & crackers 🧀

At Bridge Peak we turned off the track towards Kime & Hector and start walking the main range towards Maungahuka and the infamous steel ladder. But first, more stunning ridges and views all the way to the Wairarapa.

Then he stopped & pointed to a spot so far away I could barely see it. "That's Anderson Memorial,' he says, 'That's where we're going. A bit daunting, eh?'
Erm, yes! Even without really understanding what was ahead of me. But the weather was perfect & I was still feeling good.

And now it's time to go to work, so the rest of this thread will have to wait until morning tea time. Fair warning, it gets less jolly in a bit, but everyone survives.

I've got a cuppa and a few mins to continue this thread. Where I left off I'd just got a glimpse of where we had to go on Saturday. If I'd fully grasped how depleted I was by grief, the wise choice probably would have been to turn back. But those magical ridges were calling.

This is where things started to get hairy. This section involves lowering yourself backwards down a rocky face while clinging to a rope, a rusty metal chain or - believe it or not the least terrifying bit - a very long steel ladder. To say I was scared would be an understatement.

There was a point where I stopped, so scared my palms were sweaty and my eyesight blurred - and told Mark I couldn’t go any further. He calmly pointed out that the only other option was to go back. The rock face I knew was more frightening than the one I didn’t. So on we went.

Getting to Maungahuka Hut was an incredible relief. I decided to make it my new permanent home. Too scared to go backwards, too tired to go onwards over Aokaparangi peak. I figured people passing through would give me food from to time.

But after lunch, tea and chocolate I was convinced to set out for an expected 6 hour hike to Anderson Memorial hut. The weather could not have been more ideal, we could see all the way to Kapiti Island on the west, and across the Wairarapa to the east. The views kept me going.

At the summit of Aokaparangi we met a couple who were doing the same circuit in reverse. They’d been warned about the rocky bit that scared me. ‘We were told that if you fell you probably wouldn’t die’ Which was reassuringly exactly what Mark had told me. 😂

Along this ridge we met 4 hikers aiming to complete the SK main range traverse in under 48hrs, a challenge first attempted in the 1960s. Mark did it in 35hrs last year. At this point in the day I was even more awe-struck by this achievement than I had been at the time.

About an hour out from Anderson Memorial hut you enter this extraordinary ‘Goblin Forest’. It’s a dramatic change from the tussock, and on a windy day would be welcome shelter. We got there at about 7pm so the setting sun was sleeping through the moss covered trees. Magical.

After sidling around the left side of another peak, suddenly Anderson Memorial hut appears. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so happy to get to a hut. It’s named for Oliver Anderson, the pilot who dropped the hut on its site and died a year later flying supplies into Fiordland.

I forgot to tell you about Stefan Hope, who we met at Maungahuka Hut. He's a professional hunting guide who works in NZ, Canada and Scotland. This is Stefan in his work gear: instagram.com/p/BhZjfQ2BfwU/

He wasn't wearing tweeds this weekend though. He was on holiday, out doing the same thing he does for work, which is pretty cool. I was impressed he'd climbed through that rocky section carrying a rifle. He was impressed we were pushing on to Anderson Memorial in a day.

We stopped at Anderson Memorial for the night. There was another tramper there but she was getting ready for bed when we got there so we were apparently too late for cards & whisky. I drank the can of rosé I had stubbornly (some say stupidly) hauled up there and then lay down...

Better get back to work! Day two of my very big walk, tbc

Day two begins at the extremely scenic long-drop toilet at Anderson Memorial hut. A++ for vista, C- for flies. Would visit again, but ideally not to use.

As we set off he said: "This is the best part of the day, isn't it? Rested, fresh legs, in the morning quiet."
I din't have the heart to tell him my legs felt neither rested nor fresh. But the morning was beautiful & quiet and I was refreshed in spirit, at least, by those views.

At Junction Knob he reminded me we were up to day 20 of our push-up challenge. Every day, add a push up. First person to give up has to buy dinner. I found a spot where I was a little bit uphill to make it easier ;-)

At this point in the day, I was feeling good. Tired, and feeling that fatigue on the big climbs and descents, but we were only 2 hours from Waitawaewae and from there I knew it was only about 4-5 hours and familiar territory.

The descent from Junction Knob to Waitewaewae starts out in the open, which is spectacular, but about 30 mins in you head under the tree-line and you know you'll mostly under cover til Otaki Forks. This is the part that tests my mental stamina, even on a good day.

As the physical fatigue set in, my grief rose to the surface, and I found myself weeping as we walked down the hill from Junction Knob. I remembered years ago urging a team mate in an ultramarathon to stop crying because 'It uses up energy', but this time I couldn't stop.

I could feel the energy leaking out my eyes, but I knew all I had to do was keep putting one foot in front of the other until I got to Waitewaewae Hut and then I could stop for tea, noodles and chocolate. And we all know that fixes everything, right?

From when I first heard the river until I saw the swing bridge seemed a long time, but then we were across the river and walking a track that was very familiar to me. And there it was, Waitewaewae Hut, time for a sit down, a hot drink.

We set off from Waitewaewae down the river, I was feeling solid. I knew what was ahead and although I was very tired, I knew I could stretch out the reserves I had to cover the distance.

Two hours in, we got to the point where the old track is diverted up and over a big slip. He was bored and wanted to go down the old track and trust that we could find a way below the slip. I knew that I really had only enough in the tank to get me home via a known route...

But he'd been so patient with me all weekend, moving much slower than our usual pace. So I said yes, and off we set down the old track to the river.

Within half an hour I knew it had been an unwise move. It's a prettier route, for sure, but it's overgrown and the river rocks are slippery. A bit hazardous for extremely fatigued legs on an already relatively clumsy person.

Before long I'd fallen three times, once badly. I was bleeding from both knees, one elbow was too sore to rely on for support and both ankles were tweaked. The tears were back and I wasn't sure any more whether it was grief or just self pity. Not my proudest moments on the trails

I was also struggling mentally. When I'm really tired it helps to know what is ahead, and to be able to convince myself I can manage it. At this stage, I didn't know what we'd encounter. Would we have to bush-bash back up to the new track? Try to sidle across a dangerous slip?

I've been on my feet for 21 hours at a time. I've completed a dozen ultramarathons. But I've genuinely never felt as depleted as I did on that overgrown section of the old Waitewaewae track. It was a new frontier of mental stamina for me. And I was not holding up well.

It's interesting to watch shame layer on top of grief and fatigue to totally wipe you out. I was watching myself even as I was going through it. Shame at my weakness came out as anger at him for wanting to come this way. But onward we went. Relentless forward movement, they say.

Behold! There was an alternative route marked to take you below the slip. It would almost certainly be faster than the new route if you're in good shape. But it involved more of that climbing down and up steep bits while hanging off ropes and honestly, I was 100% over that shit.

But we did it. And I got to take this photo from the bottom of that massive slip that I've looked at from the top before. And I was still moving. Looking and feeling like I was 90 year old, but still moving.

Once we scrambled our way back up from the river to the track it was all familiar. Nothing was easy at this point. Everything hurt, including my heart and my ego, but if years of endurance running has taught me anything, it's to KEEP moving. So I did.

And at 4.40pm, exactly 5 long hours since we'd left Waitewaewae, we got to our car and drove directly to the nearest burger and beer.

And that's the good, bad and ugly of my weekend. A lot of splendour. Some transcendence. Some grief. Some shame and a good amount of catharsis!