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Oh my goodness the reconstructions of the faces of Roman emperors are *gold*
Nero spends every weekend over the course of the Six Nations wearing an Ireland shirt (even though he's from Kettering) and waits in pubs praying for an English fella to spill his pint. 
You've just sat in the space Augustus has been sitting in on his commute in on the 06.45 from West Dulwich since 1992'.
Caracalla works in a barbers off Brick Lane and he'll come over and cut your hair when it suits *him*.
Julius Caesar doesn't care if there's still an hour left on the ticket, Morrison's very clearly state that parking permits are not exchangeable between vehicles.
Caligula looks like he's received an ASBO and a lifetime ban from his local Londis for shoplifting own brand energy drinks.
Claudius is on his final warning at an Eastbourne leisure centre after walking through the lobby wearing only speedos one too many times.
Marcus Aurelius lives on a canal boat and shouts at people in his local who refer to lager as a beer.
Trajan meticulously labels all his food in the office kitchen and routinely breaks wind in the lift on his way home.
Emperor Vespasian doesn't give a damn if it's a child's birthday party- trainers have NEVER been allowed in the clubhouse.
Hadrian looks like he can tell the difference between fourteen separate brands of fortified cider on smell alone.
Heliogabalus is a would-be Beatles impersonator who hasn't decided precisely which one of the Fab four he's going to be yet.
Talking of lookalikes- the Emperor Tiberius is mulling what he'll do next now the children's party gigs have dropped off since they got a woman Dr Who. He's not sure there's much market for Malcolm Tucker at 10 year olds' parties.
Lucius Verus looks like he's taking his supporting role in a community theatre production of 'Hair' VERY seriously.
Antoninus Pius was the top goal scorer in the Danish Second Division for five years in a row in the mid 1980s.
