Thread by @uncleDemola

I uploaded a picture of my crush that I had lost contact with on Twitter with the caption "W.C.W ❤", someone reply with a comment and said "young man, kindly take down that picture, that's my daughter".

"My friend, will you keep kwayet", I replied

"Young man, if you utter a word again, I assure you, I will deal with you", the person said.

"I'm in my house, come and beat me", I replied.

"Just know I have marked your face @uncleDemola, I have saved your display picture and anywhere I see you, just know you are dead.

Oga, I'm in my house, come and beat me", I said again as I blocked him.

Two weeks later, I got a DM from a lady telling me she enjoys my thread and I should keep up with the good work. I told her I appreciate and told her another thread would be out soon.

We got to know each other as she told me her name is Temi. I explained to her I once had a crush on a lady on my street and her name is Temi also, but she moved out last year and I lost contact with her.

She told me how sorry she was and she also just moved to her present place.

We got talking and that was when I realized she was actually the one who moved out of my street and the lady I uploaded her picture with the caption "W.C.W ❤".

"Temi, so this is you"

"Demola, I thought you had forgotten me oo. I have missed you so much", she said.

I apologized and explained to her that I uploaded her picture and someone who claimed to be your dad asked me bring it down.

"Demola, let's talk about something else".

I reminded her of when she turned me down when I asked her out and how long it took me to get over it. 

"Yes, I liked you and I turned you down because I had a boyfriend and you won't believe this guy cheated on me?" she said

Low key I was happy

We exchanged contacts as we continued our conversation on WhatsApp. 

She later told me her dad was going to travel for a meeting and she'd be home alone for the weekend and ask if I could come over.

She updated me on Friday night that her dad had travelled. 

She said "Demola, by the time I'm done with you, you'd go home with bow leg".

I said "Temi, by the time I finish with you, from your waist downwards would be paralyzed..." we continued as we bragged to each other.

I got to her gate the following day and a "beware of dogs" sign was clearly written on their gate.

I called her and told her I was waiting outside. He came out, opened the gate, hugged me and said "oya come inside".

I said, "Temi, you didn't tell me you had dogs na".

"They cannot do anything to you jare, Don't worry, they won't bite you.

Temi, you're a very wicked girl. How can you say thewe dogs won't bite me? Are you the dog? Is the dog you? Do you know what's on the dogs mind?

Walahi, God will judge you, I swear.

She looked at me and said "later you'll be forming hard guy". I have dropped my hard guy at home", I replied. She then made sure the dogs were back to their cages and properly locked up.

"Nice one Temi", I said as I walked into her house with my shoulders raised.

First, she made sandwich for me as she gave me just two slices and said "Demola, hope you'll be able to finish this two slices because we don't waste food here oo".

"Ehn, two slices of sandwiches? Me wey dey finish 12 wraps of alama for house". I replied as we both laughed".

She made me feel home as she served me Fried Rice, Jollof Rice, salad, moin moin with turkey. I loosened my belt so the food would channel to the right place.

She cleared the plate off the table and as she got back, she sat on my laps. Well, I'm not a very strong guy but it felt like a pillow was laid on my laps.

She looked straight into my eyes and said "I've been waiting for this day and nothing can stop what we're going to do.

As we were about kissing, we heard the gateman open the gate as a car drove in.

"But I'm not expecting a visitor Temi said as she peeped through the window.

Ah, I'm dead", Temi said.
"Who is that?", I asked
"It's my dad", she replied

"But he's not supposed to be back till tomorrow night, how are we going to do it now?"

I brought back my hard guy and said "Temi, don't worry, I will have a man to man conversation with your dad".

Temi's dad got into the sitting room, Temi welcomed him and as she was about introducing me to him, her dad said, "wait I know this face from somewhere but I can't remember".

Temi jumped in and said, "dad, this is Demola"

Demola, are you on Twitter? Because your face looks like someone I know on Twitter. His handle is @uncleDemola and I hope to see him face to face. 

Temi answered and said "dad, he's the one, his handle is @uncleDemola.

"So na you block me for Twitter abi", her dad said.

That was when I realized it was the man I told "I'm in my house, come and beat me".

"Hope you can remember when you told me "I'm in my house, coman beat me, now you're in my house and I will kill you". He shouted

If I could convert the number of frog jumps I did to money, I'd have been a milloniare. 

You won't believe that Temi was just laughing, instead of her to help beg. Chai, I will never go to a lady's house again.

I had to take bike from the gate down to my house as I couldn't feely legs anymore. 

I got home and I met two my friends outside, Nnamdi and Dickson. Both of them were body builded and tall in height. They saw my eyes were red and asked what happened.

I didn't want to get them involved but they persuaded me to tell them what was wrong.

As I tried telling them, I was stammering, that was how Nnamdi said "Demola, you no need explain, just carry us go the person wey do you like this.

Oya, let's go

"Today today, we go show this person who we be". I really did try to explain but they didn't listen. We took bike and in less than 20 minutes, we got to Temi's house

These guys barged the gate and the first person we saw was Temi's dad in his military uniform.

Ah, na die we dey

Nnamdi looked at me and said in a low voice "Demola, why you no tell us say the person na military man? You're a very wicked person oo"

"Don't tell me you went to report me to your friends you bloody civilians. Ahmed!, release the dogs" Temi's dad shouted.

*On the run*

I got home really stressed out and my mom had to send for sister Nurse (my neighbour who took care of me when I fainted due to my experience at computer village) to help take care of me.

She checked up on me everyday and sometimes, brought provisions on her way back from work. This made us close to each other as we became very good friends.

After about two weeks, Temi visited and you won't believe this girl didn't bring any provision, she just apologized and said "Demola, you know what? Let me make it up to you. My dad is going to travel this weekend, you can come spend the night with..

Will you gerrout of my sight

As I sent her out of my house, sister Nurse was just coming back from work and asked when happened. As I explained all to her, being a good actor, I faked tears.

"Demola, I don't like seeing you hurt, it really breaks my heart" sister nurse said.

Sister nurse and I got really close to the extent that she opened up to me that she's seeing a sugar daddy. Though, I was pained but due to the fact that I was getting all sort of gifts from her, I wasn't bothered.

A week later, she told me her sugar daddy would be visiting the following day, which was Sunday and she'd want me to help her out in arranging the house and putting things in place.

Everything was set on Sunday as sister nurse was prepared for her sugar daddy's visit. I was about leaving when she told me I should wait behind to meet her sugar daddy as she has told him her cousin was around.

After about 15 minutes, sugar daddy called that he was downstairs and as she went to bring him upstairs, my heart was beating fast. I knew it wasn't a good idea for me to meet her sugar daddy but I didn't have a choice

As the door opened and as her sugar daddy got in, guess who I saw
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Temi's dad

"Ah, so you're cheating on Temi's mom, I will tell for you", I said.

He looked at me and said, give me your account number, I'll send you 20k, please don't let Temi know".

He sent 20k , I asked him to have a nice time and as I went out of the house, I dailed Temi's number and told her everything. In less than 20 minutes, Temi was around and I showed her the door to sister nurse's house.

All I heard was series of shouting.

Mtchew, wetin consign me

I called Nnamdi and Dickson and told them to meet me at a local restaurant near my house.

They got there in 5 minutes, I told them the whole story, we laughed over it and enjoyed ourselves. "Madam, 3 more plates", I said.

We cannot coman kill ourselves 😂😂
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The end

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