Thread by @Otto_Orondaam

Dear Men, Should We Also Be Feminists ?
Is Feminism really for or against us ?
So yesterday, a friend after seeing my post celebrating IWD asked if I was a feminist and I answered in affirmation. Then he looked at me like being a feminist as a man equates weakness.
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I hope this short post helps women and men realize that in the fight for feminism, both men and women have a common enemy. The patriarchal and misogynistic system that has caused men institutional harm and left women oppressed for centuries.

These days, a lot of people are ashamed to be associated with feminism because the word has been misconstrued. So today being a feminist is quite unpopular even amongst females.

So, let's say because a few people have misused the Nigerian identity & made people think ill of Nigerians, does that stop us from being Nigerian. 
 
Because people see Africans as poor, helpless & corrupt forgetting our bountiful potential, does that stop us from being African.

So yes, many people have misconstrued the term feminism to mean a fight for sameness of the sexes or making men and women equal, and even though it’s a misrepresentation, this should not stop us from being Feminists.

Feminism simply is the belief that men/women should have equal rights & opportunities & because women’ve been more oppressed the focus is more on women but in its complete sense, feminism is the fight for political, economic & social equality of both sexes without discrimination.

So, feminism isn't men hating, neither is it a gender war, but a fight against a common enemy, Patriarchy & Misogyny, which are societal systems where men hold political, social & economic leadership based on the belief that men’re better, stronger & more valuable than women.

Contrary to the misconstrued theory, why would women want to be equal to men when we men are broken ourselves.
Where the patriarchal system and rules are also harming us. 
Being a man today isn't the standard to attain.

It leaves us miserable, more likely to commit crimes, more violent, more suicidal, less able to speak about our emotions, cry when we’re broken & seek help, more misogynistic & this isn't what masculinity should be about or a standard attainment that women should aspire to reach.

Indeed, the laws about family rights, male child getting properties, women taking the names of their husbands etc. were all written by men. Many legislations & policies were developed by, legislated by & passed by, in times where men were in power while women were the homemakers.

When we want equal opportunities for all, were also saying, we want a world where women are paid equally, can become breadwinners & men are not shamed for it. Where women aren’t punished for being pregnant & where the man gets enough paternity leave to also take care of the baby.

Where a man isn't ashamed of having a female child & the male child isn't seen as superior. Where the girl child isn’t only taught to be a good wife & the boy is expected to have an inborn good husband manual, where women are not seen as sex tools & objectified for men to buy.

Where women who are interested in men can propose on their knees without being shamed & the men seen as weak.
Where women do not feel that it's the man's responsibility to pay the cheque on a date or wait for the man to asks for a split knowing he wouldn’t because of tradition.

Where men don't have to pay the bride price for love and outrageous traditional requirements for marriage.
 
And when in times of crisis and limited resources the women do not receive emergency aid before men.

Indeed, these are also parts of the feminism theory of having equal rights and opportunities for women and men, because majority of these laws stem from the patriarchal principles that the woman is weaker, vulnerable and her place must be confined to the home and kitchen.

She should be the child bearer and bought while the man who is "stronger" should be the breadwinner and can own women in multiples.
For my religious friends, the fact that these traditions were also reflected in the Biblical or Quranic times doesn't mean they aren't patriarchal.

So do we really want a world where both genders are #BalancedForBetter ? Where both sexes have equal rights, opportunity and fair treatment socially, politically and economically?  Can we really attain the true definition of feminism and is there a role for Equity?

If yes then we need to address the root causes of patriarchy and misogyny which affects us all and not just focus on the individual symptoms.

So dear women, we hear your fight for equal rights and opportunities, we support you and we stand together with you.
And dear men, we all should be feminists because we are fighting the same enemy that's harming us and oppressing our women. 
#InternationalWomensDay #OttoOrondaam