Thread by @Ra_Bies

An affectionate Chachaji asked Ed “Darling, was it cold last night?”, Ed preparing sandwiches said “Pundat thhand toh bahut tha, par hum kambal ke andar muh mein cigar laga kar so gaya”, “But the cigar pack was in another room”, Chachaji replied.
Both of them chuckled thereafter

Massaging Ed’s back with Navratan, Chachaji asked her “Should one always speak truth?”, Ed turned side & said “Pundat, akhaa world mein koi saccha nahin, par ek wise jhooth bolta toh woh clever hota par jab ek stupid jhooth bolta woh chutiya hota, jaisa thumhara beti ka grandson”

Chachaji kissed on Ed’s juicy lips & greeted her Merry Christmas. Seeing a box of candles, Chachaji asked “Who gave you candles”, horny Ed smooching Chachaji said “Mohan ne diya, par usska candle chhota hota, Pundat thumhara candle bada aur hard hota, jalta bhi zyada der tak”

Chachaji jumped into bed & told Ed “Darling, now TV can be controlled by a remote control” Ed opening buttons of her shirt remain unimpressed & said “Kya thakela purana news diya, Pundat. Ye toh kuch nahin, dekhna ek din Indu ka firangi daughter in law PM ko remote se chalaywga”

It was a chilling cold night, Chachaji entered into his bedroom & found Ed sitting on the bed wiping her body with a small towel. “Darling, don’t you feel cold?”, Chachaji asked. “Pundat, humka thhand nahin lagta kyonki tumhara fountain mein se bahut garam paani nikalta”, Ed said

It was a sunny winter day, Chachaji carrying dozens of condoms took Ed to his big farm away from the city. Lying on the grass, Chachaji asked “Rani, have you ever seen this big Land”, Ed replied “Pundat thumhara Land bahut bada hota, England mein itna bada sirf Queen ko milta”

Playing with Chachalji’s tools, Ed asked “Pundat thum Angrez ka talwa chaata, PM ban gaya, future mein kya hoga tumhara family ka”, Chachaji holding an orange replied “We’d get awards” “Kaun dega frauds ko awards”, Ed asked “We’d give awards to each other” Chachaji said cunningly

Once in a bar, Chachaji blasted on the bar girl when she mistakingly slipped wine on his white coat, he rudely said “You, two penny twaaif, don’t you see you spoiled my French coat” Ed didn’t like it & cursed “Pundat, ek din aisa ayega, ek Bar Bala thumhare ghar ka bahu banega”

Chachaji brought a time machine that took him 60 years ahead of time where he found himself sitting in a bar, there he saw a heavily drunk woman dancing madly, he asked Ed “Who’s she, her face resembles with Indu”, Ed crackled & said “Pundat ye bewadi thumhara granddaughter hota”

Chachaji got worried & asked Ed, “She looks alcoholic, but why has she brought her servant with him, see how he is looking at her”, Ed clarified “Pundat, woh aadmi usska, naukar nahin husband hota, Kisaan hota, bahut bada Land hai isske paas”, Ed replied

A red eyed Chachaji again looked at her inebriated muddled great granddaughter & asked Ed “If she is always high, how’d people of this great nation accept her?”, “Pundat, daaru thumhara khoon mein hota, jaisa thum ko, tumhara beti ko jhela, iss ko bhi jhel lenge”, Ed replied

Chachaji & Ed were sitting in a cheap bar in Pahar Ganj in Delhi when Ed showed him a grown up man drinking milk from the milk bottle. Chachaji asked “Who drinks bournvita milk in a bar? Who is he?” Ed smiling wickedly said “Isska mom yahan dance karta, now you know who he is”

Chachaji teasing Ed, dropped his pants & said “Here’s something I’ve that you’ll never have” Ed didn’t blink an eye, smiled, dropped her skirt & says, “Pundat, thum ka paas toh ek hi hai, humre paas jo hai, iss se jitna chahe utna mil sakta, bhaag bsdk”, Chachaji ran for his life

“Pundat, ek locha ho gaya”, a worried Ed said “What happened Jaan” asked Chachaji,”Kal raat hum Mohan ke ghar fun kiye, par hum galti se Mohan ka dhoti pahne kar aa gaya”, “Desn’t matter”, Chachaji said. “Pundat, humka maalum par skirt mein Mohan kitna funny lagega”, Ed chuckled

Seeing a dumb man screaming “Rafale Rafale chowkidar chor” endlessly, Chachaji asked Ed “Who’s this mor0n?”, Ed laughed & said “Pundat ye Chutiya tum ka great grandson hota”, Chachaji moved angrily to slap him. Ed warned “Issko hit kiya toh PETA activists tum ko chhodega nahin”

“Pundat tum pareshan lagta”, Ed asked. “Among my friends, there’re some nationalists whom I hate but can’t identify”, Chachaji said. “Ye bahut simple hota, unko bulao, hum unka pant down karta aur pata lag jaayega, kaun BC nationalist hota” Ed said. “You Barkha”, Chachaji giggled

“Pundat tum Pakistan kyon banaaya”, Ed asked,”If I didn’t create Pakistan, there wouldn’t be any Hafiz Saeed. Think who would Barkha fall in love with?”, Chachaji replied while massaging Ed’s thunder thighs. “Pundat tum sala ekdum visionary hota”, Ed locked her lips with Chachaji

Outside Ed’s bedroom Chachaji heard “Kundi mat khadkao raja, seedha andar aao raja, mood banao taaja taaja”. He entered & watching hot Ed massaging herself, he got horny but reached climax even before touching her. “Pundat tum sirf showoff hota, dum nahin tumke paas” Shouted Ed

Finding Chachaji look worried, Ed removed her shirt & skirt and asked him the reason “People say Maddy is Dumbo’s dad. I’m confused” Chachaji said scratching own balls. “Pundat hum jaanta wo saala tumhara khoon hota, kyon ki woh bhi tumhare mafiq liar aur shameless hota”, Ed said

Playing with Chachaji’s bat, Ed said “Pundat hum ek mast khabar laya, sunega toh jhanda kadak ho jaayega, Nobel Prize in chutiyapanti bhi milna chalu ho gaya”. “What I’ve to do with it?”, Chachaji asked with oranges in his hand. “Prize thumhara great grandson ko mila”, Ed chirped

“Hum har Itwaar Church jaata, par Pundat thumko kabhi nahin dekha Mandir jaate hue, thum bhagwaan ko nahin maanta?” Ed asked. “Weak people go to temples”, Chachaji said smoking a pipe. “Ek din thum ka great grandchildren mandir ke chakkar lagayega aur sab hasega”, Ed said angrily

“Happy Holi darling”, Chachaji wished Ed with a deep kiss on her lips. “Pundat, happy Holi, aaj hum thum ke saath Holi khelega, ab jaraa apna Pichkaari bahar nikaalo”, Ed was naughty. Chachaji put out his Pichkaari, Ed held it in her hands & said “Jesus kitna bada Pichkaari hai”

“Oh Pundat mere Pundat, aaj ee pikchaari ka sara paani humre upar daal abhi ke abhi daal, hamri pyaas bujha de”, Ed was hot. “Jaaneman, first let me play with your balloons, they are so full & tight”, Chachaji got mad holding two balloons in his hands”, “Oh Pundat”, Ed exclaimed