Thread by @zeal_a

1. It will be extremely difficult to make any progress on the fight for gender equality without realizing that our accepted culture is inherently abusive against women. I’ve known this for a while but on radio with @Ore_Onile yesterday on @LagosTalks913, it hit me hardest

2. As long as one group of people attempt to enforce their decisions on other group irrespective what that group wants, then you have abuse.

Any attempt to control the thoughts, desires, actions, aspirations of another wothout giving the other person a chance, will lead to abuse

3. "Liberalised" male folk think that "giving" women freedom is equality; we think that "allowing" women be what they want is the way to go. It all sounds great till you realise that we all think we should "give" or 'allow"..!!

4. If you believe that you have the right to "giving" or "allowing" another to be themselves, fulfilled their dreams, have freedom of thought and/or expression, then you must, inherently, believe that other person is a possession; you are no different from a slave trader!!!

5. But guess what? This is our culture!
Our culture makes the male gender believe he has that right over a woman and worse, it subdues the woman to believing that the male folk indeed have the right to control them...so they seek permission! and men "magnanimously" grant it

6. An abusive relationship is where one party seeks to CONTROL the actions, desires, behaviour of another. An abusive culture is one that teaches that one group has the right to control another.

I left the radio station in pain & initially, i thought it was cos i went off-script

7. Alas, it was the realisation that we have reared animals, slave traders, abusive and controlling beings who seek and take pleasure in subjugating and imprisoning another group of people...all this done subtly, subconsciously and filtered through culture.

8. This abusive behaviour permeates our existence & we exhibit it across board, across the entire country; be it ethnic, religious, political, class, professional, age etc...our culture teaches us that once we have an edge, we must seek to control those perceived to be beneath us

9. This abusive culture is diametrically opposed to progressive thinking...and anything that does not support progressive thinking will inherently act as a catalyst to a violent revolution. But first, we will suffer the consequences of a decayed, fragmented and backward nation

10. NO ONE (should) have the right to grant anyone else the right to free thought, free expression, free living according to that person's desires as long as these thoughts and expressions break no laws.

11. YOU BELIEVE IN AND WANT TO FIGHT FOR EQUALITY? (GENDER, ETHNIC, RELIGIOUS), FIRST CHANGE THE ENTITLEMENT CULTURE OF MEN!

Train boys to understand that they have no right to dictate to anyone else how to live their lives or chase their dreams.

No one was created to serve!!

12. I was distraught leaving the radio show not so much cos of what I heard, nor what I felt, but because I realised, this isn't a fight that starts nor ends with the genders - it's a fight against culture, a fight against the environment, a fight against our own selves