Thread by @tommiecas

THREAD: Saying Goodbye to Kristoff

I wasn't going to do it this morning. I wasn't going to set the DVR. Sure, I saw the pictures online. The blown up photo of Kristoff St. John as Neil Winters from this week's memorial. But all I could do was cry, and I thought, "There's no...

...way you're going to get through this." For multiple reasons. I'll be honest. Kristoff and I weren't close or anything. I wrote for Y&R for almost three years, but did it from NYC. I'd see him at Christmas parties and Emmy parties. He remembered my name, and...

...my husband's name, but otherwise, it was mostly small talk. Wonderful, charming, funny small talk. But small talk. So it wasn't like I had lost my best friend. Not even close. But this was that perfect case of growing up watching someone else grow up. From Bad News Bears to...

...Generations to Y&R... by the time I wrote my first words for Neil, I felt like I knew this guy. And then getting to meet him ... his quest for inner peace, his search for truth ... especially after the tragedies his family endured ... I don't know anybody who didn't...

...root for Kristoff, whether you watched him on TV, or knew him in real life. He just had that quality. You felt like you knew him, and you wanted him to be okay. But it was even more than that. I grew up in smalltown Connecticut. I'm not exaggerating when I say there was one...

...black family in my entire town. The Marshalls on Generations... the Winters on Y&R... honestly, sad to say, they were my first exposure to African-Americans. I remember the one African-American kid in our school being made fun of for being black... we were 13 or 14. And..

...I remember thinking I didn't see what the big deal was. Adam Marshall was black, and he was a cool dude. Why give the kid a hard time? Seems silly now. Middle school Tom standing up against racism using a soap character as the bar.. But this is how it happens. This is how...

...minds change. This is how pop culture influences us. This is how we become better. Kristoff was a tremendous actor to write for ... a wonderful father who loved his children with all his heart ... a source of positive representation in the African-American community, and...

...whether he knew it or not, an influencer in other communities ... at least, for me. And I can't imagine I'm the only one. Losing him physically hurts, and I'm a white dude who barely knew the guy. I can't even imagine what this is like for those who worked with him...

...every day, those who knew him in personal life, those who grew up watching a three-dimensional, fully fleshed out portrayal of a man the same color they were, and seeing that he was just as vital to the show as any other character.

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, this...

...might be the most difficult TV viewing experience I've ever sat through. Because it's all REAL. It's Neil and it's Kristoff and it breaks my heart and I wasn't going to watch it. I just couldn't.

But as I was leaving this morning, I set the DVR. Because this is...

...important. He may not have the name recognition others have, but Kristoff *is* television history. He deserves this honor this week. And while I don't really give a crap about ad revenue or demographics or some save-the-show campaign... I want the numbers for these...

...shows to be SKY-FUCKING-HIGH. So if you know ANYONE who EVER watched Generations or Y&R, tell them TO WATCH THESE EPISODES. Even if they don't like soaps anymore. It's going to be brutal to watch, but I really think it's important. I want the memorial to get...

...1991 Young and Restless numbers. Numbers nobody expects. Not because it's good for the show or good for the network. But so that somewhere, on some faraway dimensional plane, Kristoff will know just how much he mattered to audiences all over the world. It'll be ugly cries...

...for five days straight, I know. But it's the least we can do for the man who gave his blood, sweat and tears to two of the most groundbreaking characters in daytime television history. 😢💔

P.S. Yes, I know it doesn't matter if you don't have a Nielsen box. I work in TV, I know how this works. LOL! But streaming numbers DO count, so there are still ways to watch the memorial service where your viewership DOES matter. Thanks.