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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
, 4 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
if it can also be used for weed and booze, I'm in
Better yet, a 55 gallon barrel of ranch
Gotta say that "I'm going to take your money, then give you a voucher that you can use to buy me things" is the Washingtoniest idea I've ever heard
When I fill out my 1040 and come to the part where it says "Would you like to designate $3 to go to the Presidential Campaign Fund" I draw an extra box labeled FUCK NO and X it in blood
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More from @iowahawkblog see all

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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
I take it all back
☑️non-stop sword chopsocky
☑️flaming hordes of unstoppable zombies
☑️dragon dogfights
☑️skulls flying to and fro
☑️wheelchair kid tripping balls
☑️sucker-stabbing ninja kids
9/10, would DVR again
if I was some poor conscripted schmo up there on the castle roof trying to repel an army of the dead, and then some dick starts yelling at me "hold that line!" I'm like, what does it look like I'm trying to do asshole
Read 12 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
I seriously don't know what's worse, bachelorette party tourists or NFL draft tourists
quick romcom pitch: redneck bride-to-be travels to Nashville for bachelorette party, goes to Buffalo Wild Wings and is swept off her feet by 47 year old fat dude in Atlanta Falcons jersey who lives with his mom
in the climactic sex scene, he's monitoring Mel Kiper's Best Remaining Picks on the hotel TV while she takes his virginity
Read 15 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
happy belated (and abbreviated) #IowahawkEarthWeek 2019, where we celebrate Mother Earth's bounty of life-sustaining dinosaur juice. Share pics of your best internal combustion vehicles - YOURS, because this is all about taking personal ownership for the environment.
on Saturday I will announce the top contestant as #IowahawkEarthWeek's Grand Champion Carbonator of 2019. To kick things off, here is my Sweet Bird of Uncouth, 1966 Ford Thunderbird with 428 cubes of planet warming Detroit love
scoring will be based on RTs, FAVs, fuel consumption, and flair, with bonus points awarded for age of vehicle. Recycle & reuse y'all! Dave's faves will get the coveted RT from yours truly
Read 8 tweets

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Richard James
@RichJamesBits
I have reached a whole new level of #PISSEDOFF.

I didnt think such a #dark and #scary state, or level, could be reached. It may top 12-14-17's causation. It's. That. Bad. So, I've prepared a statement...

docs.google.com/document/d/1_J…

#PascoSheriff #HaveYouAllNoShame @CigarCityBeer
Dear @FBI,
I must implore you ask your colleauges in @FBITampa to help research this new level of #PISSEDOFFNESS. As locals, they may offer a special indepth knowledge of this new level I have reached. This is not fair & law enforcement must #investigate. No one deserves this.
This is my #apogee of #Pissedoffness.
If #motherfuckers & #tears werent a noticable level.
If #HUSH or #INTIMIDATION tactics being deployed didnt strike a chord.
If #EVIDENCE, PROOF, or 30k Bonds didnt #WOW YOU.
If posting mom with no shred of investigatable value wasnt enough...
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THE SLUMFLOWER
@theslumflower
Dating rich comes with the risk of financial abuse which is why I will never stop promoting the importance of women cultivating a life for themselves full of hobbies and friends so that they can implement strategic distance and wisely pattern their dating position.
Dating broke comes with the risk of an exhausted future that also will eventually entail emotional abuse. Money is power and men who don’t have it feel the need to make up for it by abusing women.

ALL MEN HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BE ABUSIVE.
Create your own nirvana and make dating men work for you so that regardless of the outcome, you have a life of your own you can always go back to. Relying on any man is the weakest move you can make.

If you’re going to take his money, open an ISA. Create a plan B.
Read 15 tweets
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Piyush Katariya
@AhamPiyush
#OSHO

#Love can never be #satisfied. If it is satisfied, it is not much of a love. The #greater and #deeper it is, the more #dissatisfaction there will be. It simply shows the vastness, that it will never be satisfied. The moment it is satisfied, it is dead.
#Satisfaction is not a great #quality. It belongs to the little #minds, to the little #hearts.

There are people who are satisfied with a little #money, with a #house, with a little #name, a little #fame, these are #pygmies.
#Giants are never #satisfied. On every new step, they find the #journey is becoming #deeper, more #miraculous, more #mysterious. The #longing is #growing and the heart is full of a sweet #ache.
Read 9 tweets
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Ashley Archibald
@AshleyA_RC
@RealChangeNews is holding a pro/con panel on initiatives 1631 and 1634. Opening statements are done, but in short, 1631 is the proposed carbon tax and 1634 is the proposed tax on groceries.
1631 is up. The pro side said that this is not a tax that oil and gas companies can fully pass onto consumers, so maybe they'll take a hit. Also acknowledges that the environmental side has not considered marginalized groups in the past (732 in 2016). This time is different.
The con side is up. He says that 1631 will hit consumers in the pocket.
Read 77 tweets
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Alexandra Erin
@alexandraerin
Attention all #MAGA Trump Train passengers:

No, "omnibus" doesn't mean blank check.

No, Congress doesn't pass suggestions.

No, Trump can't change the funding levels. They specifically blocked that in the bill (now law) he signed.

He caved, to keep his weekend free for golf.
No, Trump didn't "secretly insert a provision". If he had it would be illegal.

Yes, the executive has some leeway in how money is spent and how laws are interpreted. Not because this one is playing 37th dimensional chess or because it's an "omnibus". Because he executes laws.
#MAGA, your God-Emperor gave up all thought of protecting the agenda you think he cares about the moment his aides pointed out it would wreck his weekend plans if he shut down the government on a Friday evening.

He threw you away like you mean nothing to him.

Because you don't.
Read 21 tweets
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shawn swyx wang 🐙
@swyx
One of my resolutions this 12 week year is to keep a @blinkist twlog, as close to daily as travel allows. This is born out of subscribing to @blinkist through 2017 and having only read all of 1 book. I will reply to this with my cliff notes.
1/ Getting Things Done:

🧠Your brain is not a storage device
🗑Put info into a trusted bucket
📆Empty it weekly

Lists to Keep
📒Projects: multiple steps w/ outcome
⏩Next Actions: Floating todos
⏳Waiting For: Other people
🤞Tickler file: 31 days, 12 months
🤷‍♀️Someday/Maybe
2/ Hooked by @nireyal: smile.amazon.com/Hooked-How-Bui…

Hook Model:
🔫Trigger (external CTA => internal connection)
🏃‍♂️Action (must be simple, easy to use)
💰Reward (unpredictable & varied)
💸Investment (consistency, IKEA effect, load the next 🔫)

Spot & Form Habits. Be responsible.
Read 59 tweets

Trending hashtags

#Liar #DigitalSaleOuts #ThisIsPasco #influencer #evidence #WakeUP #MockingbirdMedia #Trump2020Landslide #week #FalseNarratives #Giants #GAF #DEFLECTION #DigitalSellOut #ploymère #MonAuteurCeHéro #satisfied #proveit #mothers #choirboy #master #nobody #CHEERS #POLICE #JUDGE
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