Thread by @PalmerReport

Palmer Report is live-tweeting William Barr's Senate Judiciary Committee testimony today in this thread. Feel free to read along, add your own comments, and we can all weep together...

1) Lindsey Graham is making his opening statement. He started off by – no kidding – complaining about the air conditioning.

2) Trump posted an astonishing sixty-five tweets and retweets this morning before Barr's testimony.

3) MSNBC has already had to break into Lindsey Graham's opening statement to call him out for lying. That's unprecedented.

4) Back to Lindsey Graham. Now he's lying about Hillary Clinton's emails. Is there a trap door under this guy? Because fuck him.

5) Now Lindsey Graham is spreading lies about Donald Trump's favorite target Peter Strzok. Graham has become a human Trump tweet.

6) Lindsey Graham, the Chairman of this committee hearing on the Mueller report, just admitted he hasn't read the entire Mueller report.

7) Lindsey Graham just said the out of context words "Trump is a fucking idiot" on live national television.

8) What Dianne Feinstein should have said in response to Lindsey Graham's opening statement: "Everyone in this room is now dumber for having heard it"

9) Dianne Feinstein sounds like way too much of an adult to be involved in this shitshow.

10) Remember back when Lindsey Graham was a sane person?

11) If you're waiting for a bathroom break, don't worry, they'll have to pause the hearings soon after Chuck Grassley gets confused and wanders off.

12) Lindsey Graham almost "forgot" to place William Barr under oath.

13) William Barr's opening statement is twenty minutes of my life I'm never getting back.

14) Barr is now lying about the Mueller letter that exposed Barr's lies.

15) William Barr, who released a "summary" of the Mueller report, now says he did it because he didn't think it was appropriate to release a "summary" of the Mueller report.

16) What's the over/under on Saturday Night Live bringing in John Goodman to play William Barr this week?

17) Lindsey Graham is literally the only person on earth who's enjoying this hearing.

18) William Barr is now lying about the legal definition of "obstruction." There doesn't have to be an underlying crime. The Attorney General is lying about what th law says. IMPEACH HIM.

19) William Barr had to pause there for a minute before saying whether he trusts Bob Mueller.

20) Lindsey Graham has clearly been up all night huffing bath salts.

21) Dianne Feinstein is staring at William Barr in the same way that I stare at the least funny moments of Beavis and Butt-Head.

22) Chuck Grassley sucks assley.

23) Trump's allies on this committee are trying their best to prop Barr up, but he's faltering already. He doesn't have coherent answers, even for the GOP questions he knew he was going to get.

24) "That wasn't my question." I've always liked Patrick Leahy.

25) I don't think William Barr has read the Mueller report.

26) Did Lindsey Graham get checked in okay into his rubber room?

27) John Cornyn is now talking. You can take a bathroom break here and you won't miss anything meaningful.

28) Senate Republicans during this hearing: "Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Strzok, Hillary, Strzok, fucking idiot, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary."

29) MSNBC is once again breaking in, this time to call out William Barr for his lies.

30) Nicolle Wallace breaks into William Barr's testimony to state that "he's lying." Good for her.

31) Lindsey Graham: "fucking idiot." Nicolle Wallace: "crazy shit."

32) This is the worst Republican-controlled hearing since the last Republican-controlled hearing.

33) It took the republicans a full hour and a half to start bringing up nonsense about Carter Page.

34) William Barr is already resorting to the "I don't recall" defense. That's never a good sign this early.

34) William Barr just claimed that he can't recall how he learned that the Mueller letter was going to become public – even though he learned it yesterday.

35) Senator Sheldon Whitehouse to William Barr: "I can't even follow" what you're saying.

36) It's not even lunchtime and William Barr is already eating shit.

37) William Barr just said he's not sure what a certain passage in the Mueller report meant. Yet he felt qualified to "summarize" the Mueller report.

38) Oh good, the hearings are taking an hour break. I need a shower, some oxygen, and a barf bag.

39) What are the odds that William Barr uses this lunch break to flee the country?

40) Trump and his remaining supporters belong in Guantanamo.

41) Donald Trump isn't the president of anything.

42) Jake Tapper looks like he'd rather be having a root canal.

43) Timely reminder that Donald Trump will be arrested the minute he's no longer in office, and he'll spend the rest of his miserable life in solitary confinement.

44) Matt Whitaker, who has an IQ of 7, was smart enough to avoid going down this road with Trump. Bill Barr, who considers himself a genius, has now backed himself into a corner where his life is over unless he can convince Trump to pardon him.

45) GOP Senator John Kennedy is too dumb to understand what side of this he's even on.

46) Amy Klobuchar is steamrolling William Barr.

47) Bill Barr is Trump's best henchman at this point – and even Barr isn't very good at this.

48) Ben Sasse likes to pretend he's one of the good guys. Then he says sexist things and votes with Trump 100% of the time.

49) Ben Sasse wants to remain in the good graces of the GOP, but he also wants to position himself to run for president in 2020 if Trump is taken down by then. It's why Sasse always talks out of both sides of his mouth.

50) What this comes down to: either Barr or Mueller is lying, and you have to decide which of them you trust. Also, Trump committed treason.

51) "Four hundred pound person" - Lindsey Graham

52) Joni Ernst has no brain.

53) Mazie Hirono exposed William Barr so badly, Lindsey Graham had to jump in and make a fool of himself just to distract from it.

54) William Barr isn't sure if the Trump regime has asked him to open investigations into anyone?

55) Bill Barr is already throwing Rod Rosenstein under the bus, and it's still only 2:30pm.

56) Mike Crapo has one too many letters in his name.

57) Ted Cruz has problems that can't be properly addressed in a single tweet. Pass.

58) On multiple occasions, William Barr has given answers which make clear that he either hasn't read any of the Mueller report, or he's pretending he hasn't ready any of the Mueller report.

59) Dick Durbin: I have proof in my hand that you asked for at least one waiver. How many waivers did you ask for?

Bill Barr: None.

Dick Durbin: None? I just said I have one of them in my hand.

Bill Barr: Uh...

60) Bill Barr just said "ask Bob Mueller when he comes here." I guess that means Barr knows how poorly this is going for him, and he's hoping to just get off the stage.

61) Kamala Harris is missing a shoe because it's in William Barr's ass.

62) It's over. What kind of shit was that?

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