, 8 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Humans seem to be hardwired to need #companionship--I mean, permanent, life-long mutually vulnerable relationships that are non-familial. Currently, this is reduced to erotic relationships so many people are married/coupled and still cross-companionless. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/P…
The psych data confirms that this is a real need but people need companionship across *multiple* spaces: physically (sexual & non-sexual affection), relationally (friendships and romantically), activity-based, but largely in the mundane, not the spectacular (like vacations), etc.
Across multiple spaces confirms, validates, and reaffirms that you're needed, you matter, you're a hero to someone, you're not alone, it's hard but we're with you, it's worth it, I'm suffering with you, you're forgiven, you're not a loser, it's ok to fail, and so on.
I've been researching #malesuicide for years & it seems that suicidal hopelessness for men grows out of not having companionship needs met across *multiple* spaces. Only one won't work. "He had everything going for him," isn't as true as it might appear. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/P…
B/c of various tragedies, some guys aren't able to have all of these spaces meet their companionship needs which means that other spaces must be enhanced & bolstered. In my experience, people how have all of these met are generally blind to their advantage & others' hopelessness.
Hopeless leads to despair. Despair feeds more hopelessness. The cycle leads to the conclusion that remaining here isn't worth it. Modern American Christianity commits the eros companionship fallacy so the church is generally unhelpful. Sadly 👉🏾 www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/201…
Parents, what you really want for your sons in adulthood is for them to have a local range of virtuous, life-giving companions through the ups & downs of life-mundane. Marriage & family isn't enough. The #AmericanDream isn't enough. He can have those & *still* be lost in despair.
Some men use vices to medicate the despair, others take their lives. People who live in villages, monasteries, small towns, not moving to a new city every 3-4 years, etc. may actually be better off than guys "being successful!" Companionship > career. gulfnews.com/world/understa…
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