Thread by @dlichaw

This is why I don't do out of the box leadership skills assessments with my clients. Most of my clients are women and LGBTQ folks who work in male-dominated fields. When they start working with me, they are COMPETENT as fuck. Yet they're not advancing. Here's why (thread):

https://twitter.com/DanielPink/status/1145815604470976515

1. Management skills matter, but they don't get you promoted. When women come to me for help, they're already ridiculously competent managers. They do SO much work behind the scenes, but don't get the credit, compensation, or titles they deserve (yet...more on that below).

OTOH, my middle management > exec level white dude clients (you know who you are, I love you!) get promoted for showing up. They're seen as leaders even when their management chops are nascent. They come to me to unlock their potential so that they can OWN their positions. Kudos.

...but to be completely honest here: even without my help, these men would continue to be promoted, get raises, and be seen as leaders in their organizations. It would just feel challenging...which is no fun.

I can't say the same for the women I work with...

2. Asking for what you want is not enough. You might be wondering: women don't get paid enough because they don't negotiate, right? Women aren't promoted because they don't ask.

Bullshit.

I used to think that. I was wrong. Asking for what you want is the tip of the iceberg.

3. If you want to advance in life, you can

a) have your story written *for* you and happen *to* you.

Or you can b) write YOUR story and then bring it to life.

WTF do I mean by story? (read on)

Your story is something you know in your brain and more importantly feel in your heart and body. It's who you are, where you came from, who you work with, how you work, what you value, what value you provide, and ultimately where you're going...and how.

When you spend your life falling into promotions and fortunate situations, that story is written for you. When that happens, you need to make sure that your story and actions align. You can do this by building skills, confidence, humility, and clarity on your value and values.

But when you've spent your life being overlooked, expected to fill certain roles, or told that you're too loud or don't speak up enough...at home, school, work, all of it. Fuck. You have to find your story from within. Management skills not required (you already have them).

Btw, if you're still like WFT, here's what owning your story looks like: theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles…

So...how do you find your story? Here are a few things you can try:

• Map it out: donnalichaw.com/blog/map-your-…
• Start with your ending: donnalichaw.com/blog/2019/1/11…
• Reengineer a horror story: donnalichaw.com/blog/2019/3/28…
• Act it out
• I could go on...

Ok, Cool! Then what?

Live it.

Once you have an idea of what your story is or can be, you go make it real. If you work in tech like most of my clients, do, the good news is that you already know how to do this:

Build > measure > learn

Rinse. Repeat.

...in whatever order you want: donnalichaw.com/blog/2019/4/11…

What if it doesn't work? Owning your story is not about trying or failing. It's about exploring, seeking data, and finding yourself. You might not know where this journey will take you*. But getting there is part of the journey. And all of that...is your story.

You've got this.

* A note on thriving within bullshit systems: I've coached almost 100 people over the last few years, 80% of which have been women. Only 2 in that time have had to leave their jobs because the system was not set up for them to thrive. This is not easy work, but it is doable.**

** I wish we didn't have to do this work at all, honestly. Because the irony of women having to do so much work to get something is that we're already doing so much work which is part of the problem!

That all said, I'm all in: let's do this.

Also! One of my clients just reminded me: mentors and sponsors are key players in this system.

Make your mentors (and sponsors): donnalichaw.com/blog/2019/3/8/…

And if you want to help, be a sponsor! Here is an excellent resource from @lara_hogan: larahogan.me/blog/what-spon…