Thread by @crayonsdabba

TRIGGER WARNING
Singapore, Apr'14-This was when we went to Singapore for his birthday. We went zip lining for the first time that day. I look happy here because only when we were away from Chennai I was allowed to remove my thali (mangalsutra) and I had the freedom to wear shorts

I was happy to be out, I was happy to be with friends but this was a photo for social media and it doesn’t tell you the real story.
This was the day after he (my ex) got physically violent with me.

He hit me, scratched me and pushed me off the bed because I asked him to keep his voice down. He also had this habit of biting and that night he left a huge bite mark on my arm to ‘shut me up’ and to ‘teach me a lesson’. All this when I had my friends sleeping in the next room

I was embarrassed and I felt helpless but the next day he apologized and told me I shouldn’t have annoyed him when I knew he was drunk. He told me it was my fault and I shouldn’t do it again. I brushed it off AGAIN thinking it was the alcohol that made him behave like that

and he wouldn’t have done it otherwise (and this wasn’t the first time it was happening). Other couples on vacations walk around with hickeys and I walked around with a different bite mark. I walked in pain for the next day or two because the previous night I landed on my hip

and it gave me a blood clot but the most painful/fucked up part was when I had to lie to my friends (or not say anything) when they assumed the big blood clot on my arm (from the biting) was a love bite and I let them giggle and let them believe I was happy.

Instagram photos don’t always tell you the truth no? :)
P.s: The intent is to share my story, what I went through and how it changed me as a person and not to speak ill about ex or my marriage.

If you think it’s unnecessary or attention seeking then maybe you don’t know what it’s like to lock yourself out in the balcony in the middle of the night to feel safe, you don’t understand what it’s like to be afraid of your partner or to carefully frame sentences in the head

all the time so you don’t tick them off, or to walk around like you are walking on an active minefield or to have recurring nightmares 3 years after the breakup. I have people from all walks of my life following me on social media. So this isn’t an easy thing for me to do.

I have thought this through and I am fully aware of what I am doing.
With education and exposure we have all become polished hypocrites and it’s easy to think someone is cool and woke but you can’t tell who they really are with what you see on social media, can you?

If this story/series can start a dialogue or create awareness about physical abuse and domestic violence then my job here is done.
P.s.s: My family will also be reading this for the first time along with the rest of the world.

If you are a relative/family friend, pls don’t take a screenshot and discuss it with my mum. She’s here and she will read it directly. This is still a triggering topic for all of us and I don’t want to make it difficult for my parents. So please understand and respect boundaries.

f you are someone who is/was in an abusive relationship (for now starting with physical abuse) then write to me. You are not alone :) hug
(My inbox is a safe space and you can do it when you feel ready/comfortable)

I am doing a meet up exclusively for physical abuse, will share details soon. Go check on ur ‘suddenly gone silent’ friend/sibling/cousin today.
#ProjectKintsugi #Saynotodomesticviolence #Saynotoabuse I know it's not a direct #metoo story but this is one of my many abuse stories