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Lot of conversation about sobriety and conventions going around right now.
Re-upping my reminder that offering to buy somebody an "appetizer or a drink or something" is a good way to be convivial without pushing alcohol.
Re-upping my reminder that offering to buy somebody an "appetizer or a drink or something" is a good way to be convivial without pushing alcohol.
I like buying friends drinks when I can, but offering a drink is a loaded act due to the social expectations around drinking (especially in contexts like an industry gathering) and because there are Drink Buying Guys who get angry when women order a non-alcoholic drinks on them.
Because in their mind, in offering an implicitly alcoholic drink, they're not giving a gift of liquid refreshment, they are paying to lower the difficulty level. Someone who orders a mocktail is cheating them, subverting their actual offer, taking advantage and giving nothing up.
Yeah, I actually reverse engineered this one from online discussion about guys buying drinks and getting mad when women suggest food instead. I wanted to be the opposite of that.
Also, many bars -- hotel bars especially -- have a mocktail menu and you can call attention to this when you make an offer, whether you think your friend is drinking or not. Again, it makes it clear your offer is genuine, not an attempt to get them drunk or have an accomplice.
Of course, some people's sobreity precludes going into a bar. If you're not already in a bar and you don't know a friend or new acquaintance's parameters, you can say something like "a snack or a coffee or a drink or something" and then figure out where to go for it.
