Three quick points about the indignation expressed here by Candace Owens over Brooke Nevils continuing to see Matt Lauer romantically even after she said he anally raped her in a hotel at the 2014 Olympics. 1/
ONE: sometimes when you’re raped or abused, you try to “redeem” it, to make it better, to turn the rape into love. Why? Because you don’t want to think of yourself as a victim, you don’t want to admit you naively gave your trust to someone who eagerly used that for evil. 2/
TWO: being a woman requires a certain amount of go-along-to-get-along politeness. When I was a waitress, customers grabbed my body and pulled me by the apron to request something like ketchup. The real price of that ketchup? /3
My dignity died a thousand times before my shift ended. So did my self-preservation instincts. Girls are taught we don’t really control our bodies. Instead, we belong to the customers, mailmen, preachers, and guys at the grocery stores who chat as our ice cream melts. /4
We're told to smile, don’t cause a problem. ‘Rape’ is a big problem. If it happens, it’s too easy to sink into the fictional hope the attack was really love camouflaged by misunderstanding.
THREE, the body sometimes contradicts the mind during an assault. /5
THREE, the body sometimes contradicts the mind during an assault. /5
Pedophiles are good at grooming victims to believe any physical response to abuse is evidence of consent and desire. But our bodies respond physically to penetration, touch, and fear whether we like it or not. /6
During an attack, certain chemicals are released in the brain. In ideal circumstances, couples lovingly bond to each other. But what happens if you feel 'bound' to a rapist? This creates shame and confusion after the event… /7
That’s why some victims send affectionate text messages instead of calling 911. It’s why women go back to their abusive husbands. It’s why we don’t tell for years. /8
Many expressing outrage at the #MeToo movement want their rapists to be evil strangers lurking in dark corners ready to pounce. They want victims to be taken by surprise by a stranger, call the cops immediately, and provide a good description of their attacker. /9
But reality is much scarier. Rape is hard to process, especially in the victims’ ensuing isolation. Why are they so isolated? Because it’s hard to do the ‘victim thing’ correctly according to many of you on this platform. /10
(I know. When I opened up about being the victim of a pedophile at age 12, a senior contributor for the conservative magazine @theamgreatness named @Julie_kelly2 deceptively dismissed my political opinions because “she screwed around with her preacher when she was a teen.”) /11
This mockery and contempt protects predators and creates a chilling effect for victims. I, for one, am over naively giving my trust to people who so eagerly use it for evil. /END
