Thread by @sheilagregoire

A thread (with video) showing how, in sermons given at @HoustonsFirst (Houston First Baptist) on Oct 6, Emerson Eggerichs joked about abuse, downplayed abuse, and implied that if a woman accused a man of being abusive, she's wrong. She's misunderstanding his honorable intentions.

In this clip, Eggerichs gives reasons women protest about his "respect" message (giving husbands unconditional respect), including having a narcissistic husband or being emotionally abused. He uses abuse & NPD as the butt of jokes, and insinuates that women are making up excuses.

This clip starts out fine but goes downhill. He implies that women may THINK their husband is controlling, but really he's a good guy, just fearful and vulnerable, and she's actually the problem.

Here, he bizarrely insinuates that all men will be accused of abuse--when really they're just being honorable.
Remember--if all men are abusive, then none really are.
In 28 years of marriage I have NEVER called my husband abusive. I have NEVER called my 2 sons-in-law abusive.

Most men I know are not abusive and I would never say they were.
The fact that Eggerichs believes it's normal for all men to be accused of being abusive makes me wonder what social bubble he is in.

Here, again, he complains about women going on social media when they're having troubles, and being told that their husband is abusive. He makes it sound like these allegations could never be credible.

He did acknowledge physical abuse in a 2-second clip: "you don't have to put yourself in harm's way." However, he consistently downplayed emotional abuse. Abuse was joked about; abuse allegations are women not understanding men.

See the full context here: houstonsfirst.org/the-loop/media…

I see no evidence, either in these sermons or in his book, that Eggerichs believes emotional abuse is real. I see plenty of evidence to the contrary.
(When watching the sermons, keep track of the amount of time he spends blaming women for marriage problems vs. blaming men).

Some thoughts:
1. This occurred in the backyard of @RobDownenChron and the @HoustonChron who broke the story of sexual abuse in the SBC. Do @jdgreear and @drmoore think that this sort of language is consistent with #caringwell for the abused?

2. @FocusFamily has repeatedly refused to distance themselves from Emerson Eggerichs, saying that they stand behind his core message. Let's be very clear, then: THIS is what they are supporting. They think THIS is an acceptable way to talk about abuse.

3. WHY did @HoustonsFirst laugh after video #1, when Eggerichs made NPD & emotional abuse the butt of jokes? Roughly 1.5% of men meet the diagnostic criteria for NPD. At Houston First, then, over 50 women are likely married to narcissists. Did they deserve to be laughed at?

4. If you are EVER in a sermon and hear a pastor/speaker denigrate abuse victims like this, make them the butt of jokes as he did, or question the reality of abuse, GET UP and walk out.
That shows those who may be suffering silently in the pews that they are not alone.

5. I do have a call in to @HoustonsFirst asking for their statement about this sermon series, but they have not responded as of yet. When they do, I will update you. I sincerely hope and pray that they see the damage that was done and that they are working to repair it.

6. A plea to other churches considering inviting Eggerichs: Look at these videos. Can you see Jesus laughing about abuse like this? Are you prepared for the repair you will have to do afterwards given the harm caused to those in abusive marriages?
loveandrespect.com/upcoming-events

7. Gaslighting is a frequent tactic Eggerichs uses towards women. Think your husband is egotistical, narcissistic & controlling? You're wrong. He's actually fearful and vulnerable (video 2). Think he's abusive & unloving? You're wrong. He's actually acting honorably (video 3).

Eggerichs frequently tells women that when they think their husbands are treating them badly, they're wrong.
See this L&R blog post, for instance:
loveandrespect.com/blog/not-wrong…
My husband and I respond in this podcast:
tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/09/love-a…

I have written at length on how Emmerson Eggerichs’ view of women and sex is problematic and harmful.

The first post in my series:
tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/love-a…
Our report on the harm caused by L & R:
tolovehonorandvacuum.com/wp-content/upl…

Christians: Given how Emerson Eggerichs talks about women, HOW can Love & Respect be the second-biggest marriage bestseller of the last 15 years? What does that say about us? Lord, have mercy.