Wander out the office enjoying the cool fall morning (cool for the Florida Panhandle). Sit down at my desk. Maybe it'll be a good day. Look at Twitter and HOLY SHITBALLS IT'S LIKE ARKHAM ASYLUM EJACULATED INSANITY INTO A BURNING CLOWN COLLEGE OF PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS AND WTAF?
1/
1/
Me: What in the name of all that is unholy is THIS?
Twitter: Well, you went viral again.
M: This isn't viral, this is the fucking Plague, like the Black Death!
T: Well, aaaaaactually...
M: Shut the fuck up with that. Honestly, what the hell?
T: You said a thing.
2/
Twitter: Well, you went viral again.
M: This isn't viral, this is the fucking Plague, like the Black Death!
T: Well, aaaaaactually...
M: Shut the fuck up with that. Honestly, what the hell?
T: You said a thing.
2/
M: A thing? Oh, right. That. Yesterday, I said this bad thing my government is doing is bad.
T: Yeah. What were you thinking with that?
M: Well it IS bad, Goddammit!
T: Agreed. But, now I have to correct you anyway.
M: No. What?
T: Those are the rules.
M: Fuck.
3/
T: Yeah. What were you thinking with that?
M: Well it IS bad, Goddammit!
T: Agreed. But, now I have to correct you anyway.
M: No. What?
T: Those are the rules.
M: Fuck.
3/
T: See you said that bad thing was "bad."
M: Yes?
T: Well, actually, the correct term would be "terrible."
M: Fine, it's terrible.
T: Weeeelll, it's more like "dreadful."
M: Goddammit.
T: Also, "grim," "distressing," and perhaps "appalling."
M: For fuck's sake.
4/
M: Yes?
T: Well, actually, the correct term would be "terrible."
M: Fine, it's terrible.
T: Weeeelll, it's more like "dreadful."
M: Goddammit.
T: Also, "grim," "distressing," and perhaps "appalling."
M: For fuck's sake.
4/
T: And possibly "parlous."
M: Par ... what?
T: It's an antiquated word meaning "bad."
M: Why can't I just say "bad?"
T: Because you if you just say "bad" you marginalize all these other bad things that happened throughout history!
M: For fuck's sake!
5/
M: Par ... what?
T: It's an antiquated word meaning "bad."
M: Why can't I just say "bad?"
T: Because you if you just say "bad" you marginalize all these other bad things that happened throughout history!
M: For fuck's sake!
5/
T: You can't mention a bad thing that the bad government is doing without including all the other bad things that ever happened, ever, anywhere.
M: Yes, I can!
T: That's racist.
M: No, it's...
T: Also, sexist.
M: That's not how...
T: History hater.
M: FUCK'S SAKE!
6/
M: Yes, I can!
T: That's racist.
M: No, it's...
T: Also, sexist.
M: That's not how...
T: History hater.
M: FUCK'S SAKE!
6/
T: Besides it didn't even happen.
M: What didn't happen?
T: The bad thing.
M: It literally DID happen.
T: It totally didn't happen.
M: Yes it did. IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!
T: Fake News. Never happened and if it did happen it's Obama's fault.
M: MOTHERFU...
7/
M: What didn't happen?
T: The bad thing.
M: It literally DID happen.
T: It totally didn't happen.
M: Yes it did. IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!
T: Fake News. Never happened and if it did happen it's Obama's fault.
M: MOTHERFU...
7/
T: Why are you shaming the victims?
M: What?
T: Victim shamer!
M: I said the *government* was doing a bad thing.
T: See? Shaming the poor government!
M:
T: Here are some totally unrelated links to prove my point, shamer.
M: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
8/
M: What?
T: Victim shamer!
M: I said the *government* was doing a bad thing.
T: See? Shaming the poor government!
M:
T: Here are some totally unrelated links to prove my point, shamer.
M: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
8/
T: I'm unfollowing you because you're a bad person.
M: Did your accent just change to Eastern European?
T: Nyet!
M: I'm a bad person because I said the government was doing a bad thing?
T: Bad!
M: Sure I'm not parlous?
T: I'm leaving now!
M: Feel free to fuck off!
9/
M: Did your accent just change to Eastern European?
T: Nyet!
M: I'm a bad person because I said the government was doing a bad thing?
T: Bad!
M: Sure I'm not parlous?
T: I'm leaving now!
M: Feel free to fuck off!
9/
T: You're very rude.
M: I thought you'd left?
T: You don't matter anyway!
M: Cool. So ... bye?
T: BLOCKED!
M: Ah, that's better.
<some peaceful times passes>
T: Just FYI, I'm unblocking you so I can fight with your followers.
M:
T:
M: Fuck me.
10/10
M: I thought you'd left?
T: You don't matter anyway!
M: Cool. So ... bye?
T: BLOCKED!
M: Ah, that's better.
<some peaceful times passes>
T: Just FYI, I'm unblocking you so I can fight with your followers.
M:
T:
M: Fuck me.
10/10
