So there's a story I've told here before, but I've gained a lot of new followers since then & it bears retelling.
It's a story everyone should read.
A dear family friend died cuz drs blamed her very fucking serious symptoms on her weight & "laziness".
It's a story everyone should read.
A dear family friend died cuz drs blamed her very fucking serious symptoms on her weight & "laziness".
Out of respect, I'm not using her real name, so we'll call her Mary.
Mary was the first real mother figure I ever knew. She was a full-time mum & an amazing homemaker. She married her equally wonderful husband quite young & they had 2 kids.
Mary devoted her life to her family.
Mary was the first real mother figure I ever knew. She was a full-time mum & an amazing homemaker. She married her equally wonderful husband quite young & they had 2 kids.
Mary devoted her life to her family.
On top of being an amazing mum to her own 2 girls, she stepped up to mother me, knowing my birth mother was abusive. She did the same for at least 2 more of her kids' friends. It'd be impossible for me to repay her for what she did for me, over those high school yrs 💜
Mary had been overweight since her early 20s. She suffered several miscarriages before she had her daughters & used food & elaborate cooking to help her cope.
So when her weight, which had been stable for many yrs, started steadily increasing, she became concerned.
So when her weight, which had been stable for many yrs, started steadily increasing, she became concerned.
Her dr told her to eat less & move more, so she did. But no matter how little she ate, her weight kept going up. She noticed it was all around her abdomen, too. The rest of her body remained the same as it had for yrs.
Her dr brushed that off & said she was "obviously just still eating too much." He told her to keep a food journal & record everything, even gum & water.
When her symptoms continued, he accused her of lying. She left in tears & changed drs. This happened several more times.
When her symptoms continued, he accused her of lying. She left in tears & changed drs. This happened several more times.
Every dr just insisted that she was "just obese" and lectured her about how she'd "never see results without putting in the hard work". They mocked & shamed her. Their behaviour was blatantly abusive & they ALL refused to investigate her concerns.
Her abdomen kept growing.
Her abdomen kept growing.
TW: #MedTrauma & Blood
One night, Mary woke up soaked in blood. Her frantic husband helped her clean it off & they located the source. She was bleeding from her (previously ordinary) belly button.
They rushed her to hospital.
One night, Mary woke up soaked in blood. Her frantic husband helped her clean it off & they located the source. She was bleeding from her (previously ordinary) belly button.
They rushed her to hospital.
TW: #MedTrauma
The dr went pale when they explained the situation to him. He said he'd seen this before & was confident he knew what it was, but would order scans before elaborating.
Scans showed a massive tumour in Mary's abdomen. It turned out to be cancerous.
The dr went pale when they explained the situation to him. He said he'd seen this before & was confident he knew what it was, but would order scans before elaborating.
Scans showed a massive tumour in Mary's abdomen. It turned out to be cancerous.
TW: #MedTrauma
It had been slowly taking over Mary's abdominal cavity for over 5yrs.
The dr was kind. He sat with them & held Mary's hand, telling her he'd seen another patient who'd been dismissed as "just fat & lazy" for yrs before presenting with the same symptoms.
It had been slowly taking over Mary's abdominal cavity for over 5yrs.
The dr was kind. He sat with them & held Mary's hand, telling her he'd seen another patient who'd been dismissed as "just fat & lazy" for yrs before presenting with the same symptoms.
Mary underwent an extremely risky surgery to remove the tumour. It was enormous, weighing nearly 40kg (88lbs).
Despite surviving the procedure against stark odds, Mary was then told the cancer had spread. They couldn't even see it until the tumour was out of the way.
Despite surviving the procedure against stark odds, Mary was then told the cancer had spread. They couldn't even see it until the tumour was out of the way.
Mary died less than a month after surgery, from an extremely slow-growing cancer that NEVER should have killed her.
And let's be real, here: cancer didn't kill her on its own. Fatphobic drs killed Mary. Every dr who berated her & dismissed her as "just fat & lazy" killed her.
And let's be real, here: cancer didn't kill her on its own. Fatphobic drs killed Mary. Every dr who berated her & dismissed her as "just fat & lazy" killed her.
Mary's body was riddled with cancers, by the time that enormous tumour was finally dxed. She had a TON of different symptoms & was in a great deal of pain, but every symptom she had was dismissed as being caused by her weight. For FIVE YEARS.
And she saw more than a dozen drs.
And she saw more than a dozen drs.
The systemic medicalised prejudice against fat people is literally KILLING THEM.
Not in vague, indirect ways, either. Those drs literally condemned her to die by their bigotry. And Mary's story wasn't even unique to the hospital she went to for emergency care.
Not in vague, indirect ways, either. Those drs literally condemned her to die by their bigotry. And Mary's story wasn't even unique to the hospital she went to for emergency care.
I honestly dread to think just how many other people have suffered life-altering or life-ending consequences, due to the fatphobic bigotry that's so prevalent across medical professions.
/End
/End
Update: Sincere thank-yous to everyone who's RTed this thread💜 Mary was a phenomenal person & NO ONE should be treated the way she was by her drs.
My hope is that sharing her story will encourage discussions on medicalised fatphobia & perhaps spare others her fate.
My hope is that sharing her story will encourage discussions on medicalised fatphobia & perhaps spare others her fate.
I also hope that those discussions will be intersectional, because misogyny also played a role in Mary's story (eg. "melodramatic woman" who "eats her feelings"). If Mary had been a WOC, systemic racism would have also played a role.
This crisis is multidimensional.
This crisis is multidimensional.
As with all things, multiply marginalised folks are the most vulnerable to this kind of abuse.
Mary was a physically disabled, obese, white, straight cis-woman. Other ppl's experiences will differ to hers & theirs are no less valid, as a result.
Mary was a physically disabled, obese, white, straight cis-woman. Other ppl's experiences will differ to hers & theirs are no less valid, as a result.
