I'm going to get personal about my autism for a moment and explain something extremely important to me: the number 53. [THREAD]
As a teenager, long before my diagnosis, I always felt a half-step out of sync with my peers and saw the world a little differently than others. Still do, if I'm honest. I've just learned to blend in way better - which is a double-edged sword for another thread.
As a teen, one of my favorite books was the Solitaire Mystery, which involved a story within a story about an island of anthropomorphized playing cards. There was one of them, in particular, I always identified with: the 53rd card, the Joker.
The Joker didn't really belong. He wasn't really part of any suit, but he was also a little of all of them. That sense of same but different left him ridiculously lonely. At the same time, being an outsider, he saw things differently, and he became a source of insight.
While I'm way less angsty about my place in the world these days, that sense of otherness never left me, and after my autism diagnosis it started to make more sense. I was actually on a different operating system than those around me (Linux in a PC world - for another thread).
Since then, the number 53 became even more special to me. It came to symbolize my autism. It became an empowering reminder that I have something to offer, even if it's different. It also reminds me there are other Jokers out there too, even if we're on different islands.
The number 53 will forever remain special to me for this reason, and maybe now it will be a little more special to you too, especially if you have autism and feel like an outsider. Maybe it can also remind you that you have something to offer and you're not really alone. ❤️
