Thread by @RGAMeyer

A year ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Jan 5 to mid-June I had chemotherapy.
July 10, I opted for a full mastectomy, and declined implants.
I’ve been in remission since July 18.
To start this awareness thread, here’s me on my last day of chemo!😎
#cancerinafrica

Stereotypes like these, which affect cancer victims and literally kill them, are why I am coming out.
The only way to counter misinformation and disinformation is evidence.

#Mycancerstory: I always had really bad fibroids – inherited from Mum’s family, along with the slim figure.
In 2015, I had to have yet another operation. Doctor said fibroids were too big, so he literally reached behind his desk & gave me a drug to reduce them.
Name?
Esmya.

So, in 2015, I had to have yet another operation. Doctor said fibroids were too big, so he literally reached behind his desk and gave me a drug to reduce them. Name? Esmya.
As the child of a nurse, I immediately opened the packet.
Side-effects?
Rare risk of breast cancer.

Me: Doctor, I don’t want this medicine.
Him: You've to reduce the fibroids or surgery will end in a hysterectomy, or greater risks.
Me: It doesn’t even remove fibroids! Am I to risk cancer just to reduce fibroids? Egbami.
Am I to pour acid on myself, to ease a hot water burn?

He asked if there's breast cancer in my family.
I said no.
Did a breast check with hands. He said I had no dense tissue in my breast and should not worry. The risk is small, compared to the fibroids squishing my organs.

Fam.
Na so I enter one chance.
#RuonaTheGuineaPig

I start taking Esmya, and two weeks later…HAIR started growing on one nipple.
Egbami. I stopped immediately.
Told Oga Doctor. He said if I did at least 8 weeks, it would really help reduce the fibroids. Said to continue.
I said no.
He said my operation would be risky.

Me: If this can cause hairy nips in 2 weeks, I don’t want to know what else it will do.
Doc continued singing my operation would be risky.
So I turn to OT Genasis and sing CUT IT!
Me: Cut off the womb! Rather be womb-less than get cancer via fibroids! 🎶You need to cut itt🎶

That was why I had a hysterectomy, in 2015.

Fam, 6 weeks later? I discovered a LUMP... in Miss Hairy Nipple breast.

Ran back to Doctor Wayray and he said oh no, it is just a cyst.
I was basically in and out this idiot's office for the next few years – he said it was a cyst.

One time, he said it was the tissue from the weightlifting I was doing at one point, so I stopped. Still, the lump was there. He insisted it was a cyst.

The article below is what was happening.

To ME.

In 2018.

In Germany.

theatlantic.com/family/archive…

By 2017, me and my definitely precancerous lumps moved to Lagos, and began working there.

Fam! All the time I was doing Ughelli low-budget Nancy Drew, investigating cough syrup?

I had breast cancer.

BREAST. CANCER.

Jesu!!!! Till now, I shudder at it.

All the time I was saying “I am so sorry,” to my late elder cousin who was having a bad reaction to chemo in Lagos? I was a cancer patient myself. Mad oh!

In fact.

Stop reading this thread NOW and go check yourself because with cancer ehn…e fit be you oooo!

Soon I was always tired, and out of breath, with night sweats. At a point, my GP in Germany was testing me for allergies. When he saw nothing, he said you need to try and get a mammogram, as you say you have a lump. Go to your Gyno and ask.

I said I already did, even wanted to do private but Doctor Gyno Wayray refused refer me!

My GP left me with “well you have to keep trying. Get a mammogram.”
That man saved my life!

I became very aggressive about the lump on purpose, because even with bleeding, still no mamo!

So I went back and said, give me a mammogram. He said I was not yet 40.
I told him I would not leave. I was ready to scatter the place, fam. To stop my shouting and disruptive behaviour, he gave me the mammogram referral.
The mammogram lab technicians sent me straight to biopsy

I was diagnosed with Herceptin positive DCIS cancer on 4 Dec 2019. I was more relieved than scared at that exact moment. Because it validated my anxiety and symptoms. You are not a hypochondriac. You are not mad. You have to be your own advocate.

Six days later, I lost my childhood bestie died. I needed a grief therapist. On 5 January, same day I was to move to Leicester for my PhD, I was instead starting chemo. My oncologists were going to be treating me as stage 4, based on the time I had been exhibiting symptoms.

In fact 6 months earlier, I was in the same hospital with chest pain; they had suspected a heart attack but we now know it was tumors pressing on my chest. Due to this lady's video, I now know this is a sign in left-sided tumours on in women.

Had I seen the video earlier, I would have been wiser, and definitely diagnosed quicker – these things are why I have to “come out.”

Ladies like Dee who even took time to answer my Instagram messages in those early days of shock, are the salt of the earth

Meanwhile, as per suspected stage 4, I had to have a bone biopsy 2 hours before I started chemo. Those days were hell, but my doctors urged me to be strong – they could not stop treatment for tests, and vice versa. I agreed.

When my EXTRA-SUPPORTIVE supervisors maintained that they were retaining my PhD scholarship, I had a goal to strive for. They treated me like they knew I was going to get through this. I continued to work, even shifted my chemo to allow my award travels, not the other way round.

Special shout out to Professor Price and Dr @richarddanbury, who’s in this pic with me March 25 – I was halfway through with chemo.
Because of you both, I was able to see life away from doctor appointments, needles and pain.

I had 4 tumours, and named them.
"Felicia" for the one my oncologist called “a satellite” which was growing towards my neckline I REALLY wanted the bitch gone. And other names J, T and C for some especially evil creatures I encountered in the year 2017.

I would imagine the EC chemo aka “Red Devil” was Rosé, getting them dead-drunk. By late January, Felicia was the first one to disappear. My doctor’s eyes watered as she said Ruona, we cannot find it! 🙌🙌

Me, shaking my bumbum, that day, saying – bye, Felicia!!
Stupid bitch.😏

DISCLAIMER:
My aunt's name is Felicia and at this point I just want to say I sure AF ain't referring to you Ma.
Migwo
👩‍🦯👩‍🦯👩‍🦯👩‍🦯
Where was I?

With weekly chemo, the clinic had a radio permanently playing old school music. I'd sing and bob my head. Music is my weakness.

On this day, 19 April, Bad Boy by Miami Sound Machine was playing.
OF COURSE I made a video of myself killing the "Bad Boy" in my chest lmaoo
#vainAF

Do you know that by this time I was busy with chemo cocktails, Aunty Esmya had been banned in the EU pending investigation – a whole year earlier.
Because it was/is also destroying women’s livers too.
Chei!
A legit case of #HadIKnown
Ladies, be CAREFUL!
ema.europa.eu/en/news/women-…

In the name looking for a child, saving organs that will kill you...do not end up swallowing unnecessary poison.
Heck, I wasn't even looking for a child and see where i ended up!
The only poison I will willingly swallow is Chemo. That shit worked for me!

Funny enough, I always felt Esmya would fuck me up. Here’s a tweet I made years before my diagnosis with breast cancer, when I was talking about why I chose to have a hysterectomy.
#CancerInAfrica

https://twitter.com/RGAMeyer/status/754042200695201794

Why I’m saying all this, sewing this thread?
I nearly entered stage 4 cancer.

DESPITE being in a country with the best care worldwide.

BECAUSE I almost let a doctor silence me and my intuition.

Please, whoever needs to hear this. I beg you.
Like Madcon sang I'M BEGGING!

I only got through chemo working and being me because I saw other women like me, albeit all Caucasian, who were willing to share EVERY step of their journey. 
Key word is EVERY.
These women are: flatclosurenow.org and
"My Flat Friends" on Facebook.
Check both out, please.

I got through chemo because I shut out my family in Nigeria – with good reason. Their worry would affect me. I had no answers, starting as being classed stage 4, until the tests came back, almost three months into treatment.
#mycancerstory
#cancerinafrica

When it was shown there was no spread, and I did not carry any of I think 16 cancer genes they tested for, I realised that not seeing the Whatsapp forwarded messages to drink soursop indiscriminately, to eat pineapples at 6:45am everyday was stuff I could do without.
For real.

Which brings me to the serial forwarders and unsolicited advisers saying cancer is punishment.

Uhm...
You do realise that you yourself may be walking about with cancer, right? You do realise that cancer will happen to whoever it will and will take whoever, moneyed or not?
Duh.

Early cancer detection and awareness is our best weapon, not fear-mongering and outright stupidity to proffer daft advise. Months after the fact, someone said I need to be closer to God.
I legit ghosted because I treat diseased body parts& stupid people alike – CUT THEM HOES OFF.

Like, wasn’t it God who made it that I was in the right place, at the right time for treatment without having to go penniless?

Am I at all better than others who have to beg for funds?

God was not the one who made my doctors dumbfounded at how my hair grew during chemo, abi?

God was not the one who made it that despite the years, not one lymph node was affected, and I was a total response to chemo, such that even the tumors when cut and tested were dead cells with zero cancer in them?
😏
Right.

Speaking of chemo, please don’t be afraid.

I never threw up once.

My hair grew on chemo.

I actually added weight during chemo. I am still trying to lose hayghood 😭

Then work wise, I would shift chemo to go and work and continued doing my PhD.

Don't let fear in! Get info!

I know of women who these stereotypes affect – who leave treatment and care too late because they are afraid. Please don’t be. Information will save you.  Look at me, during chemo, and after radical mastectomy. There is NOTHING a good wig, faith and positive thinking cannot do.😊

I took, and put these vulnerable pictures up so you will not suffer in darkness like I did so look at me.
Listen. There is hope
Yes, even with cancer stage 4. There are women still living ten years on, after a stage 4 diagnosis. 
Go and check.
Go get tested.
Decide.
Live!

For now, all on my radar is how to raise awareness & dress up my new self –discovering literally that I'm more than my body parts. Yes, I sometimes think of my gorgeous breasts, now long decomposed in some medical waste site, but I think of being here with my family, and my work.

Tbh the occasional physical hang-up is often all in my head. I still get catcalled. If I didn’t love the German so, your girl would have easily gone on at least 3 dates, given the amount of hollering that happened when I rocked up to my Emmys nomination ceremony. 💥💥💥

So sis….what are you afraid of?

Being told you have cancer?

Having a mastectomy?

Going through chemotherapy?

Having one breast or no breasts?

Yes, it is okay to be afraid, but you need to realise that you are the only one who has the cancer inside. 
Your chances of dying (& treatment costs + treatment time) are greatly reduced if you know quickly.
Early detection also means you may not go thru all stages of treatment.

And even if you end up having to decide on a mastectomy, Sis. Is death really better than having a flat chest? Understand your family, church, advisors are coming from a place of sociocultural norms they were raised with & hold on to. But know if you are to die, you die alone.

Therefore, make sure the decision you take is for you, your mental health and quality of life.

You can reach me on the dedicated Instagram page I started… @ablackcancerpatient because I do not want my Twitter to be all about cancer. 

I had cancer. Cancer doesn’t have me.

✌✌

* 4 Dec 2018 was my diagnosis*