Thread by @usacsmret

Government Healthcare Terminology

Artery: The study of paintings

Bacteria: The back door of the hospital cafeteria

Barium: What doctors do after a patient dies

Bowel: A letter like A E I O or U

Caesarian Section: A neighborhood in Rome

Cat Scan: Searching for Kitty

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her

Colic: A sheep dog

D&C: That's where Washington is

Dilate: To live a long life

Enema: Not a friend

Fester: Quicker, quicker

Genital: Not a Jew

GI Series: Ball games on an Army post

Hangnail: Coat hook

Impotent: Distinguished. Well known

Labor pain: On the job injury

Morbid: A higher offer

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates

Node: Was aware of

Outpatient: A person who has fainted

Pelvis: Close kin of Elvis

Post Operative: A letter carrier

Recovery room: Upholstery shop

Rectum: Dang near killed em

Seizure: A Roman Emperor

Tablet: A small table

Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport

Tumor: Two more

Urine: Opposite of you're out

Varicose: Nearby

Vein: Conceited