Thread by @DrOlusesan

AREN'T ALL NIGERIANS MARLIANS?
My fears that we are all Marlians was confirmed when Segalink tweeted he'd look into the illegal detention of Shina Peller, House of Rep Member of the Federal Republic. The only difference is the substance we smoke. Twitter clout is a type of weed.

A highly respectable pastor who was very vocal about the traffic nuisance caused around Quilox was shell-shocked when somebody called his attention to a picture of his car on social media that LASTMA was towing in the vicinity of the 36hrs party. He didn't take the car there. 😀

His son, two daughters and a nephew that left his house with the car for a choir vigil in another church in Lekki are yet to gain their freedom from at Maroko Police station, because they were actually part of Quilox vigil. They were waiting for Burna Boy's 7AM, appearance. 😀

That all Nigerians are Marlians is a metaphor that captures our dual personality complexities, online, then offline. The pastor whose children are arrested is singing a different song now. Naira Marley's gospel semblance chorus "tesumole" is a reenactment of this contradiction.

Some of the twerking buttocks that occupies more than two-thirds of your phone screen are actually that of assumedly well brought up daughters who wear turtleneck sweaters under ankara top, to conceal print of their cleavage, because parents, guardians or benefactors are looking.

The insolence we are capable of on Twitter, we lack guts for, offline. Adeyanju that threatens Buhari online was beaten like a fowl that entered the wrong house, offline. Nigerians you live with, meet or interact with in real life are mostly fake. Its true people are on Twitter.

Twitter allows us to show our true self, anonymously, or with a notion that people who may be offended by our hypocrisy aren't around. When you meet people on this app, dont ever assume what you see them post or what they prefer to show you offline, is all there is about them.

A fellow here asked me for a loan to clear a car at the port, when in actual fact he didn't import any, but showed me bill of lading. I told him I don't have money. Few days later, he said he has found who will borrow him at an interest, but he needs me as guarantor. Guarantor?!!

I defiled an instinctive hesitation to oblige him after he had shown me he is this, he is that, offline. I was out of town when I was told policemen from this same Panti l, where Shina Peller is detained, want me because of a N1 Million loan default that I guaranteed.

From where I was, I paid half of the defaulted loan before people who were detained for me to show up were released. For the first time, I regretted I'm not friends with Segalink. Who am I if it'd take his intervention to free a lawmaker caught by the law? I'll come back to this.

T'was the police IPO that was supposed to arrest me that also revealed that the "borrower" and "lender" who asked me to be a guarantor actually planned it. There was no loan! The duo shared the N500,000 I paid. The reason why the IPO rejected his share is story for another day.

Not to bore you, I got all my money back, and the fella is back on Twitter condemning government, yahoo boys and women who post pictures of waist beads. 😀
A lot has shaped how I perceive people I meet on Twitter, and this informed how I have been using this app recently.

I'll be reticent henceforth, now that I know as Marlians, we share weeds - politically, socially & spiritually. I have my reservations that Esther Climate's only contribution to LASEPA sealing Quilox for constituting environmental nuisance is her question, if Quilox was warned.

Did Shina Peller warn the public that he'll make life difficult for others, for his customers have fun? I use to be part of Quilox orgy, but thank God I wasn't part of the 36hours non stop party. Quilox has gradually transformed to an early morning night club as we have in Dubai.

The likes of Jowi Zaza made it so. This "money-miss-road" sometimes put half of a million dollars Lamborghini on half of the road, with the other half of his axle split over a gutter, at the front of Quilox. These ones are never satisfied visiting only one night club in a night.

It starts from Moist Beach, Oniru at about 9 ish pm; thereafter Sip Lounge on Akin Adesola, to Cubana, then finally, Quilox. The early morning traffic at Ozumba Mbadiwe is more of the convergence of nearly all drunk men and women, assembling at Quilox for morning devotions.

These are the people @akinalabi tweeted that Police arrested "illegally;" pun intended. 😀
If Nigeria has an effective DUI legislation, majority of Hon. Shina's customers will remain behind bars until police can find them soaked Garri that will remove the alcohol in their blood.

@akinalabi the burden of public office is enormous. Forgive us, if we aren't with you on this. @ShinaPeller owes the public that were frustrated by events leading to the Panti - legislative imbroglio an apology. But I can see the bail of us Marlians comes first!
#MerryChristmas