Thread by @CSweatpants

[cracks knuckles]

I’m too lazy and incompetent to put together a coherent best movies of the decade list. I don’t even think it’s a good concept for a list.

But I *have* absentmindedly scrolled through several other people’s dedicated work. And I have some complaints.

Some of my complaints are about movies I’ve seen on best of the decade lists, mostly films that were bad when they came out or are already aging horribly.

Other of my complaints are about movies I didn’t see on lists that deserve some end-of-the-2010s attention.

And, of course, there are some entries I don't even disagree with but that aren't worth mentioning.
For example, Fury Road doesn't need any more praise from me.

These are just movies I enjoyed this past decade that I think are already aging well or are very likely to age well.

For the purposes of this thread, I’ll be going off of the A/V Club’s list and Vulture’s list.

I know there are more, but, like I said: I’m lazy. So, let’s get going…

vulture.com/2019/12/every-…

film.avclub.com/the-100-best-m…

(Oh, one quick note: a lot of the movies on their lists are foreign or art house films that I haven’t seen because the ticket price (living in NYC or LA) is way too high.

So even though I’m sure there are some excellent films among them, we’re just going to skip those, mmmkay?)

First up, The Social Network was okay when it came out in 2010.

Didn’t have much to do with how Facebook got started, but was a solid, late era Fincher movie, and those have been rare. But it has aged *terribly*.

Zuckerberg as lonely computer nerd who just wants to be loved wasn’t even true then, and now that he’s ripped off his human skin is laughably naive. The final scene, of him hopelessly hitting refresh to see if he’s got a message, is something he’s probably never done in his life.

Boyhood shouldn’t be on any best of lists. It’s a pretentious art house misfire, ambitious and admirable in its execution, but three fucking hours long, mostly pointless, and not the least bit insightful or illuminating.

If it had been 90 minutes long it could have been a masterpiece.

Instead it meanders endlessly. I watched this on Christmas at my parents house. After getting psyched out by about four false endings, we cheered when it finally went to the credits.

It Follows wasn’t even good when it came out.

I’ll give it points for being inventive, but the basic concept just doesn’t work at movie length, there’s no way you can make an audience feel trapped like characters do. Too goofy and serious to be even a little bit scary.

It Follows really lags when contrasted with the Purge movies, which are conspicuously absent from most lists I’ve seen.

They’re also inventive as hell, but with a much solider concept and plenty of terrifying characters and scenes. They made the decade better.

I don’t know that I could pick one as the grand champ, but they’re subversive, funny, feature a lot of arresting images, and are just great overall.

Oh, and they’re about out of control authoritarianism. (Now *that* has (regrettably) aged well this decade.)

I have mixed feelings about Dunkirk, mostly because the Sky and Sea portions were outstanding and inventive while the Beach portion was too artsy and cryptic for its own good.

One identifiable kid with lines would’ve gone a long way.

As an aside, movies like Dunkirk – weird, inventive, but a little less than the sum of their parts – are why “Best of the Year/Decade” lists are flawed.

It’s too peculiar not to take note of, but not solid enough to be one of the best of the last ten years. Just sayin'.

Get the fuck out of here with Zero Dark Thirty.

That movie was poorly researched, based exclusively on spoon fed bullshit from criminals in the government, and way too torture enthusiastic to be any good. The raid ending was well filmed, the rest was shit.

See my point above about Dunkirk and movies that are too weird not to talk about but also not good enough to make a best of list?...

Spring Breakers, everyone! Bizarre and kinda fun in places, but too much of a mess to qualify as good, much less great.

And if you’re going to include Spring Breakers, why not Black Death (2010) or Branded (2012) or Sorry to Bother You (2018)?

They're all so weird as to be unclassifiable, and each has some problems, but they are remarkably unique films that are worth remembering.

Speaking of weird and worth remembering, I am shocked by the lack of love for Blade Runner 2049.

It is every bit as good as the original, a fantastic film about which I have seen nothing this last month or so.

Boo, movie critics! Boo to all of you!

AND WHERE THE FUCK IS PARANORMAN?

IN WHAT SHITHOUSE MOVIE-VERSE DO WE EXIST WHERE THAT WASN’T AT OR NEAR THE TOP OF EVERYONE’S LISTS? FUCK ALL Y'ALL!

LAIKA IS VERY GOOD AT MOVIES AND THAT IS THEIR MASTERPIECE.

Speaking of high concept high execution animated masterpieces, Inside Out is the Pixar movie of the decade and it’s not even close.

Coco was fine. TS4 was fine. TS3 was a snuff film, but fine. Inside Out was genius.

Dredd is almost eight years old and has aged magnificently. There’s a reason there’s an on-line clamor for a sequel.

Hands down one of the best straight action movies of the decade and Cersei gets to be even more villainous than on HBO *and* gets a better death.

Let’s talk Tarantino! Hateful Eight sucked. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is on both Vulture and AV Club lists, but it's too soon to tell for me on that one. Needs a couple years.

Django, however, was and is outstanding, the equal of his absolute best and most ageless films.

Also, where is the love for The Cabin in the Woods? A genre spoof that was also hall of fame good for its genre.

See also: Kingsmen, one of the best Bond movies of all time and it isn’t even a Bond movie and another film that should be on some best of lists.

Moar Pitch Perfect, please. Sure, the sequels are weak, but who cares?

The original is inventive, clever, hilarious, and durable. AV Club had Bridesmaids as their token lady comedy on the list at #96, which is fine, but Pitch Perfect blows it out of the water.

[Sighs deeply] I’m as tired of the repetitive empty formula Marvel movies as anyone, and if they stopped making them tomorrow I'd raise a glass in celebration.

But Avengers 1 remains a great flick.

Sure, the weird face aliens are just cannon fodder, and Loki is a place holder bad guy at best, but that movie is one of the few from the whole shebang that is aging well instead of rapidly.

[Nick Nolte From Mandalorian Voice:] I have spoken.

And on the Marvel subject, I’m more down on Black Panther than most people seem to be, but Killmonger is easily the best Marvel villain of the whole bloated canon. Just a terrifying joy to watch from start to finish.

The franchise of the decade, of course, is John Wick. The second one is weak, but only compared to its littermates. Straight fun from start to finish inside a coherent and original universe AND it’s resisting the tide of PG13ization.

Bravo! More! More!

While we're on franchises, Hunger Games has faded shockingly rapidly even as we move closer to them in real life. And, let’s face it, they aren’t great, especially the last two.

But shout out to that final shot from 2, Lawrence earns her bread there.

In other dystopian youth fiction, the Maze Runner sequels were hapless and incoherent because they didn't even kind of have a good reveal for the underlying mystery, but that first movie was great.

And on the topic of Things That Didn't End Well, Batman 7 sucks, but the mid-air hijacking that introduces Bane was a top action scene of the decade for sure.

This maybe isn’t best of the decade or anything, but 2011’s The Guard with Brenden Gleason and Don Cheadle was tip top.

Partly it’s just my love of movies that treat the drug war with the contempt it deserves, but its funny and wonderfully written.

WHERE IS PACIFIC RIM!?!?! FIGHT ME YOU COWARDS THAT’S A GODDAMN CLASSIC ALREADY AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SHOW IT TO 10 YEAR OLDS FOR THE NEXT FORTY YEARS!!!

[whispers] Pain & Gain was one of the best comedies of the decade. I know, I know, Michael Bay is a monster.

I don’t disagree with that. But he made a great movie and it has only one explosion. Possibly the funniest performance of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s career.

[continues whispering] Gone Girl was pretentious nonsense, a dark comedy that was neither.

When a minor role for Missi Pyle as real life balrog Nancy Grace is your only genuinely funny character, you've got problems.

It’s not a perfect film, but I rewatched Chappie earlier this year and it remains a great sci-fi flick: straightforward premise, breezy performances, top notch effects, evil villains, and a fun, unconventional hero.

Big Short feels like a comedy that’s only five years old and is already aging well.

It’s that super enjoyable combination of funny and smart, and Steve Carrell’s little monologue at the end about blaming poor people and immigrants was frightfully prescient.

Spare a quick thought for the R-rated comic book movies: Kick-Ass, Logan, and the Deadpools.

Escapist nonsense aimed at people who’ve already hit puberty is a fun genre.

Big fan of Anthropoid as a top notch World War II spy/action movie.

It’s a little contrived with its composite characters, but its edge of your seat thrilling even when you know how it ends. (Way better than Dunkirk, by the way.)

Finally, I want to end on a movie that has been overlooked at the end of this decade more than any other.

I saw it on only one best of list (don't remember where, but it wasn't either of these two), and that is a damn shame.

Like ParaNorman, Pacific Rim, and Blade Runner 2049, it is old enough that it's already aging well and it has replay value stretching into the horizon:

Cloud Atlas.

A few tweets aren't enough to say all that should be said about what might be my personal favorite movie of the decade, but I sincerely believe that it is as good a movie as the Wachowskis have ever made, its only equal being Matrix 1.

No, I am not kidding.

Cloud Atlas is a masterpiece of storytelling (at turns serious, funny, thrilling, and heartbreaking) that weaves multiple narratives together so that they peak and valley thematically at the same time.

The novel is wildly uneven between its six time frames. The movie isn't.

The incredible intricacy and flow of the screenplay makes it an astonishing piece of writing all by itself, and the film executes it with near perfection.

It's visually absorbing and gorgeous from start to finish and has an outstanding cast and a total ear candy soundtrack.

It's three hours long but feels shorter, never slowing or letting things get dull.

And it has a humane philosophical point of view that informs its characters and is legitimately well thought through, something so rare in major movies that it almost doesn't exist.

It only has two real problems, and one isn't even its fault.

The first is that the makeup used to transform actors into characters of different ages, genders, and ethnicities doesn't always land.

Hugh Grant's old guy makeup in 2012, for example, ain't great. Hugo Weaving simply can't pass for a lady in a nurse's outfit. And they couldn't even kinda make Doona Bae look like a Latina. But most of the makeup jobs are outstanding, so this is pretty minor.