Thread by @BlueBirdTail

So, my girl in SA was recently heartbroken on account of a Naija man. She was understandably pissed & said he'd lied to her for years while he was married. I did the comforting/listening thing, but three months later I gave her this breakdown. Technically Naija men rarely lie...

As for the compliments... the toasting... it's a West African thing. You just have to listen to the songs someone is always being gassed or thanked. Early juju and highlife music is full of thanks...

I swear sometimes people would hear thanks to them in songs by musicians they didn't know and the joke was it meant the musician had slept with your lover without your knowledge and was just being fair by giving you some props... But back to my girl...

Naija men just take the music into real life. But, like i said, they rarely lie. They operate by a combination of omission & deflection. So I asked my girl what she was told and translated for her. Might be useful for some of y'all. Apparently SA men are stingy w/ compliments...

1: When they met, Omo said: Oh my God, I've never seen anyone so beautiful before.
Angle: Omission
The full sentence could be: Oh my God, I've never seen anyone so beautiful before *at 2:47pm on a Johannesburg street in November*.

2: "How can you be on your own? Are people blind?"
Angle: Truth insertion
Note that these are questions but they come as compliments. As questions they can never be lies.
(Fact: 73.847% of Naija lyrics are questions e.g. The common; Are you an angel? How did you get this body?)

3: "Turn around for me. You will kill me. Ah, I will die for you to hold me."
Angle: Technically true
He was married and if his wife found out she would kill him and because he had no intention holding back he was ready to die.

4: "I have never loved anyone like I love you." was his standard response when she asked if he loved her.
Angle: Deflection
You can't love any two people the same so this is true. It also means he doesn't actually say "I love you".

4b: Note, if he said "I love you" it still wouldn't be a lie because if one can love eba and garri, then loving humans is easy. "I'm in love with you" is a different level and Omo never went there.

5: His response to "Are you married?" was classic.
I 👏🏾 have 👏🏾 to 👏🏾 stan.
Classic deflection with a touch of pop humour. He said...

"Can you believe no one has ever put a ring on it?"

I mean using Beyoncé to Beyoncé a woman!!

I can't get too deep cos I have a book to crowdfund for and some editing and writing deadlines and some competitions to judge, but SA ladies, generally ask a West African to break it down for you when the Naija lyrics hit. OK?

I did this #fortheculture but my ❤ for Naija stays!

When I said crowdfunding, this is what I meant, but I've thrown in a free short story that will make you laugh and cry too... Even if you can't support the bool, share the free story. We need stories...

https://twitter.com/BlueBirdTail/status/1217127640907374592?s=19