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Something that I think you see with marijuana, gay marriage, even Obamacare, is that conflict is much worse when people are fighting over a change than when they are living through the aftermath of a change.
This is one reason polarization feeds on itself in our system: it makes it impossible for either side to effectively govern, and so we're endlessly fighting over change that doesn't happen as opposed to living with changes that did happen.
The incentive structure of "partiers can govern and voters can decide if they liked the consequences" is a lot better than "parties can't govern, they can only fight, and voters are endlessly frustrated, confused, and stymied"
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