Thread by @Vidyut

"How do you deal with depression?"

Disclaimer: Not a pro, didn't consult one either.

Can't recommend this as a one size fits all, but for me, discipline and cold logic helps. When emotions are unreliable and motivation is low, I bypass them to figure out reality checks

I used a lot of "hacks and tricks" to manage the situation. I was literally alone, AND with dependents, could afford neither time nor money for "indulging" (as it appeared then) in professional care.

Pretty much brute forced my way out. Multiple times.

Would probably be better/easier with professional (and chemical?) help.

I basically had a set of "rules" - things I must do no matter how passive or unmotivated. An actual live kid depending on me helped - no way to pretend he isn't there.

And DAILY doses of love.

In this, kid literally saved me. He's super affectionate, a serial kisser and super soft to cuddle :p

I got into growing plants. I find that giving/getting care both help. If there is no one who cares (or that you perceive) find someone/something to care about deeply.

And then I learned to put the depression to good use. It is a very good insight into well.... what helplessness/powerlessness/sadness feels like and you end up thinking and contemplating a lot.

Depression taught me a lot about sensitivity and creativity.

In that sense, while it sucked - sucks, actually, I remain prone - it undeniably contributed to improving me as a person - which I appreciate when not feeling shitty.

That's about it. Use logic to examine the feelings if they suck. Are they reasonable? Do things to feel better.

I also had a hard cut-off. If I found myself considering suicide as viable, that was a red flag that whatever I was doing was not working. Unbreakable rule was that I can't do this to kid. Talk myself down, or get help.

Yeah, I thought all that through too.

But yeah, it IS possible to fight depression even if you are dead alone, got no money to afford pro care, etc. YOU can do it.

No idea if this helps, but thread was a result of someone saying "I'm broke, I can't afford to be depressed." and not as a joke.

I don't think I set out to "fight depression". Was more like "This is totally dysfunctional and kid is gonna be screwed unless I figure out how to get happier"

So I did what I could to undermine sadness and sneak in anything that would make me happy.

So the kid in that sense was a kind of lighthouse. One goal, independent of everything, that mattered. So if I wasn't motivated, I literally did these things very demotivatedly, not even expecting it to work, just because that was the rule.

Took discipline more than anything.

Also - there are moments of lucidity and moments of "don't give a fuck, everything sucks"

Make your rules for what to do when you are thinking clearly and you aren't allowed to change them when life sucks. That time is to put head down and one step after the other till through.

One more thing that helped - starting something new that I couldn't do on autopilot. The shaking off lethargy that took and lack of existing negative defaults made it more likely that I'd feel positive about it than something I did as a part of routine while depressed.

So if you guys are stunned by the wide range of things I do, you can thank depression for that :p

And oh, general talking about depression did not help me. It tended to make me think in more and more detail about what made me unhappy.

Instead, I found talking about specific problems and with people who were likely to have useful responses helped.

I don't ever look at my depression as a whole. That is plain depressing. I break it down to what is bothering me right now and what I can do about it.

The worse it is, the narrower I make my scope. Bite sized pieces, strictly. Rest can suck, fixing this one starfish. At a time.

One success makes the next easier.

FIx enough things making you unhappy, the rest dissolve on their own. It is the sum that gets you bogged down. Everyone has problems. Depression just builds a monument to them.