This needs to be done as a 1940 black & white narrated newsreel
"Hollywood! What's the latest craze for Tinseltown matinee idols? Giagantic genitalia, thanks to Beverly Hills Surgeon to the Stars Dr Hugh G. Rection!"
"It's just what the doctor ordered for patient and Paramount prettyboy Peter Poleman, now proudly packing his pants with a pepped-up pecker. Those starlets on his arm seem satisfied too, but watch out, gals - that anaconda looks like it packs a punch!"
