Thread by @BrennanML

I think what I'd really like right now is a cozy British village murder mystery show where Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are elderly widower neighbors who bicker a lot about their gardens, and also solve crimes. And there's a super hot grandson who has to drive them around.

So Ian will be all, "You need to prune this hedge back! You think it looks fine, but it keeps putting shoots up over on my side!"

And Patrick gasps and is all, "OF COURSE, that explains how the knife got into the locked breadbox! Call Lewis, he needs to drive us IMMEDIATELY."

And Lewis, who is Ian's grandson is played by, you know, let's say Henry Cavill.

And he shows up and is all, "I am supposed to be playing rugby with the lads, Granddad! How could you possibly have an urgent medical appointment right now?"

And Ian yells, "JUST DRIVE, LEWIS!"

Sometimes Patrick will need to search to discover a clue, and Ian will fake illness to distract the host.

"OH!" Ian cried, slumping in his chair. "MY BLOOD-SUGAR LEVELS! PLEASE, A BISCUIT!"

And the homeowner/murderer is all, "Agh! Let me get it!"

While Patrick investigates.

At times a murderer will have to be apprehended.

Ian will shout, "LEWIS, TACKLE THAT MAN! HE STOLE MY PILLS!"

Henry Cavill tackles the murderer, and then, on the ground, says, "Wait, are you sure, Granddad?"

"Never mind that, Lewis. Check his pockets, you'll find arsenic."

The fun part of all of this (other than being a Patrick Stewart-Ian McKellen crime-solving garden-crabbing star vehicle) is that you could employ every British actor as either:

A: A Grandchild
B: A grumpy middle-aged child
C: An octogenarian friend
D: A villager
E: A murderer

Oh, cool, that clearly hit some kind of deep zeitgeist of cultural yearning.

So, hey, first book of my series is available on e-book for $2.99. Maybe check it out?

amazon.com/Generation-V-M…