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For your consideration today, what would have been a lovely loaf, had I not forgotten to set an alarm and fallen asleep for three hours. I post this to say EVERYONE has disasters in the kitchen. They just don’t post the photos. I’ll just pick myself up and try again tomorrow.
Funny detail: was chatting to @Nigella_Lawson yesterday and saying how I was never any good at bread but seem to have found “my baking mojo”.

We Greeks get quick action when it comes to hubris being punished.
*makes recipe testing note* “225 minutes at 275°C, definitely too long.”
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Alex Andreou
@sturdyAlex
5 jobs I've done and 5 tags

1. Fundamentalist hate preacher
2. Retired mythological figure
3. Queen of Burgundia
4. Thousands of assassinated guards
5. Sadistic Turkish Pasha

All of them on multiple occasions.

@ladyhaja @mrjamesob
@ingridoliver100 @Nigella_Lawson @grahnort
And here is some evidence.
Read 3 tweets
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Alex Andreou
@sturdyAlex
This is the best sourdough Audrey II has produced yet. Instantly visible strands and fermentation (look at those massive bubbles), same size as boules I made before, but using only 75% of the ingredients. And the easiest, CLEANEST process so far. @BakeWithJack is a genius.
His method of starting with a less hydrated dough and adding moisture throughout by stretch-and-folding it with WATER💦 as lubricant, left hands and surfaces squeaky clean. This neatest of hacks has produced the very best results. Thank you @BakeWithJack.

Crumb shot foh ma bread posseh.
Read 3 tweets
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Alex Andreou
@sturdyAlex
Have been rewatching original Star Trek, Season 1. The stories are SO good. Although it’s probably testament to the low budget that they mostly involve a powerful entity taking over the mind of a human-looking actor. But I love how rooted in spooky horror they are.
I also love that they obviously thought William Shatner was SUCH AN EARTH-SHATTERING HUNK, they tore his top to shreds at every possible opportunity. Or maybe he volunteered.

And I had no idea that the first series was made by Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s company! Imagine that.
LOOOOK 👀

It’s a BAFFLING alien creature.

Definitely not a Labrador puppy in some sort of onesie, wondering wtf these people are doing.
Read 3 tweets

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kaela⁷ ♏
@BTSFactory
Once he was feeling fresh and not so sticky with lube, he made his way to the kitchen to explore the contents of the fridge. He eyed the bacon and eggs and decided that was what was on the menu for the morning.
He delved into the bag he'd brought with him last night, finding his earphones. Popping them into his ears and plugging the other end into his phone, he turned on his ‘good morning’ playlist, slid his phone into the breast pocket of the shirt and set out to make breakfast.
♦️ ♦️ ♦️

Jeongguk squinted his tired eyes against the sun streaming in through the window above his bed - his otherwise empty bed. He jolted up looking around the vacant bedroom. It felt like his heart stopped when he realized Taehyung was gone.
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Strong Gel FC 🇬🇾 🇯🇲 🇬🇧
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Watching Home Alone 2. Kevin has just landed the most pathetic push on Buzz and the big drama queen goes overboard with his reaction falling over like he's been smashed by a wrecking ball and ruined the entire performance. #HomeAlone2
Now they've sent wee Kevin up in the loft to sleep on his own. His Mom doesn't see anything wrong with any of this. Terrible parenting. Social Services needs to visit that family immediately.
Now the entire family has overslept. The most unrealistic scenario ever. No way nobody in the entire family has forgotten to set an alarm. This show is bullshit.
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Leif Skodnick
@LeifSkodnick
BREAKING: President Trump has posted an 18-hole golf score to @USGA Golf Handicap Information Network for first time this season - a 68(!) on a course with a 75.3 rating/139 slope.
This might be the best round of golf by a head of state since Kim Jong Il’s 38-under par performance (with five aces!) at Pyongyang Golf Course.
When you consider that the President’s last posted score, a 96 in October of last year, had a differential of 25.0 over the course rating, this 68 - a -5.9 differential against the rating - is even more incredible.
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OpDeathEaters
@OpDeathEaters
According to US federal judge ruling in 2019: Federal prosecutors broke law in Jeffrey #Epstein child trafficking case that implicates dozens of politicans, celebrities, and other people in power including US President Donald Trump. #OpDeathEaters miamiherald.com/news/state/flo…
U.S. Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta who broke federal law when he signed a plea agreement with Jeffrey #Epstein, currently has authority over human trafficking enforcement appointed by Donald Trump. #OpDeathEaters hrld.us/2XgoWpN
Mainstream outlets and blue checkmark personalities are mostly going to focus on how to handle the #Epstein case with as little political damage as possible, just like the prosecution did. We demand all #Epstein co-conspirators be named and brought to justice.
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Jenn Knee
@JennsLenz
I used to scoff about left brain dominant vs right brain dominant—even as a writer/ photographer who struggled with math and science in school. I thought it was a matter of liking English more than Algebra.

Then I sustained a severe TBI in 2013.

That was their word— severe.
A lot of things changed—some were immediately obvious once I was released from the hospital.

Some didn’t manifest until I drove from Los Angeles to NYC a few month later [alone, no less] to start a new gig at the United Nations.

Lost in NYC was a near daily occurrence.
Aphasia was constant—I just didn’t know what it was called.

[see what I did there, folks?]

Losing words made me so angry I kicked in the side panel of my truck.

The severed olfactory nerve served me well when I was lost in the subway stations—I couldn’t smell anything.
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