Therapist Tip 👉🏻The Power of 'NO': the word "no" is a 'boundary'. It is a word that establishes or defines the space between you & someone else. It demands respect & is supposed to be learnt learnt through childhood development. It is a universal cue that people use #boundaries
to let others know that you are not OK about something. Boundaries are designed to keep you safe &/or establish ground rules for the relationship. One of the earliest indicators of #RedFlags in toxic people/relationships is a lack of Respect/empathy for the word "no" #SafetyFirst
This lack of respect is an 'indicator' that someone has a character/personality problem &/or flaw. If a person in your life refuses to listen or respect your "no", you may need help because you now have a 'relational' problem
on your hands. When someone ignores your first "no", this is a red flag 🚩aka a 'boundary violation'. You are being disrespected. You are being violated. This is unhealthy and #toxic The boundary violations usually start out small & get bigger or more repetitive #relationships
If they Ignores multiple requests & "no's" from you, you are now much further in your #problematic relationship, one of disrespect & contempt &/or a lack of #empathy, caring &/or insight. This type of person is a challenge to manage, to work with &/or to have & maintain
A relationship with. Society has a #toxic 'idea' that it takes more than one of your "no's", or multiple boundaries to be set by you for others to understand what "no" means. This is untrue & both deceptive & manipulative. If you have said 'no'
asked your 'someone' to stop or start doing something & they don't or say they will & don't, these are 🚩 You will need to think, get support & make hard choices, especially if they are competitive 🚩 combative 🚩 argumentative 🚩habitual liars 🚩 manipulators 🚩gaslighters 🚩
1. Mock you 🚩2. Not listen 🚩 3. Continue disrespecting you 🚩4. Get angry covertly or overtly 🚩5. Say they were joking 🚩6. Say they didn't mean it 🚩7. Get someone else to do the behaviour for them 🚩 8. Say they didn't know 🚩
9. Say they don't know what you are talking about 🚩10. Show a lack of genuine 'empathy'. 11. Gaslight you🔥Alarm🔥 When your boundary/your "no" is violated, what that person is really saying to you is, "I don't accept your boundary", "I don't care about your boundary/ #dontcare
Boundaries", "I am going to control you" &/or "I'm not giving up my 'power over' you". In their efforts to talk you out of your "no", this is called #manipulation &/or 'gaslighting'. Never negotiate on your boundaries or your reality. Ever. You will pay dearly #theGaslight
Deceptive manipulators have habitual patterns & #habits of not accepting "no" from people & often tell you why you should accept their disrespecting of your boundaries. As if that is their 'right'. No, it is not. This is known as 'crazy-making' & unacceptable behavior #narcissism
If you allow someone to talk you out of your boundaries (the word ‘no’), you are now teaching them that they can talk themselves out of your boundaries again. You are now telling them that you are not in charge & you have just given your power away. You may think to yourself...
"It's just less drama if I acquiesce", "I just want them to stop having tantrums", so you may allow them to manipulate you with their tantrums, words, manipulative behaviours. Doing this is a very short-term solution & makes the person worse. Now, they are going to inch by inch
continuing to erode your boundaries...because they can. They may not have been told "no" as a child, have contempt for other people, or the psychological 'need' for power over' &/or control over you or other people. This habit or 'pattern' is often seen in domestic #violence
#Personalitydisorders, the #darktriad & #psychopathy. Knowing the red flags & teaching them to others 🚩 🚩🚩is crucial to your 'self' & also wider society. Relationships do NOT work when there are poor boundaries, disrespect, volatility, manipulation & deception #lietome
It takes practice to be confident in asserting your boundaries & enforcing them. It will save you from a life of toxic people/relationships, being taken advantage of, being a victim, damaged self-esteem & worse. Boundary violators do NOT get better. They get worse over time
Your #relationship will not improve by acquiescing to someone else's demands, disrespect, bad behaviors or meltdowns. This just reinforces their bad behaviours towards you or others. Someone like this is not a potential partner (business or otherwise) or friend. Do not proceed 🚩
When they don't accept "no" the first time 👉🏻 👀 pay attention 👈🏻 1. State your boundary firmly using the word "I" 2. State your boundary clearly, directly & assertively 3. offer a #consequence if they choose not to respect your boundary This is your #humanright 4. Follow through
On the consequence. If they do not take you seriously, it's time for you to think about cutting ties, sooner rather VS. later. IF they act in revengeful ways after you set a boundary, you are with a #psychopath #sociopath #getout #toxicrelationships #boundaries #isaidNO #clusterB
In this situation, you will need to get both legal & Police & law enforcement involved, support from friends & family, keep a journal & record of everyone know about it. They live secrets & doing it secretively. That's HOW they get away with it. Happy boundary setting ✨
May strong boundaries be with you and you never have to manage an uncoachable disrespectful narcissistic (or worse) person in your life ✨#relationshipgoals #HealthTips #HealthyNation #mentalhealth #GoodLuck
If you were raised by parents without boundaries, it's NOT your fault.
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