Thread by @TaniaAMarshall

Therapist Thread on #Narcissistic Injury & Narcissistic Rage 🧵: the reactions are disproportionate the the perceived 'slight', which is the injury. They are 'over the top'. For e.g. they want you to lose your entire career because you disagree with them on something.

Narcissistic injury is caused by: 1.challenged confidence. When there excessive needs for admiration your attention, time, energy are not met, they will #rage to protect their ego. 2. Injury to the narcissists #selfesteem often occurs because they don't have a stable sense of

Self. When this happens & the smallest failure is pointed out, they will #RAGE This may look like swearing, snorting, spitting, violence, screaming & melting down or covert and is always directed back at the person or projected back on the 'perceived' accuser.

3. False sense of self. A lack of core self & identity (also seen in #autism) starting in childhood and/or from a feeling of being unloved or unworthy by those close to them. This leads to endless #superficial patterns of relationships that don't last and a

A sketchy work history over the course of the lifetime. There are times when anger is warranted but this is rare with a #narcissist or someone who behaves like one (other PD's or Autism) #patterns

The common types of narcissistic #abuse or rage include 1: explosive rage and anger & volatility. In some situations this can lead to murder #crime They cannot be reasoned with as the rage itself is not proportional to the trigger. 2: any kind of #stalking, following, cameras

3. Passive-aggressive Narcissitic rage. Perhaps less dangerous (although this is arguable). Punishment is done by withdrawing communication, being unable to communicate in a functional healthy way, retreating, silent treatment #ghosting leaving without notice or communication

And/or #punish you. They may then invite you back into their life as if nothing had happened. This is dysfunctional behavior. This may go on for long periods of time & is a form of them punishing you. it is their way or the highway #NO #boundaries #hoovering

5 most common scenarios in which narcissistic rage occurs 1. When the narcissist doesn't get their own way 2. When you put a boundary in place 3. The narcissist is criticised/questioned or disagreed with. Any criticism no matter how warranted, triggers rage #wireddifferently

5. The narcissist is not treated as the centre of #attention Regardless of context, if the room does not revolve around them 👉🏻 Narc rage 6. They are caught breaking the rules. A Narcissist may lie, deceive, cut in line, steal, manipulate and when they get called out or caught

Will rage, act like these are not wrong to them because of how their #brains are wired. If they are called out, it's a massive injury to their perceived 'honour' & they will rage, especially when they are in the wrong, to cover up their shame. #toxicshame #GuiltyMinds #anger

7. The Narcissist is held accountable for their actions. This makes them especially rageful and they will lie, make up excuses, claim victimhood, being a #victim of false identity, blaming others, manipulating the situation or using their narcissistic agents to do their bidding

And dirty work For them 8. Lacking #empathy: all shortcomings bring attention to their fragile #egos & they will react in rage where they have to cover it all up, rather that take it as a learning self-improvement moment #selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfawareness #lacking

How to respond: 1. Respond calmly 2. Remove yourself from the situation 3. Record, screenshot, document & journey everything (cannot overemphasise this) 4. Stay objective 5. Stay unbiased. This is not personal. Every person a narcissist comes across is treated this way #document

It is NOT you. It is them, although they will #gaslight crazy-make, accuse, blame & play the eternal #victim. 6. If you can understand what you said that caused the rage this will assist you in NOT being pulled into the 'jungle'. Do NOT react or be pulled into their #DramaAlert

If You do it will spiral out of control. Responding or reacting will get you no-where, even though it is very tempting. 6. Never attempt to or try to reason with a narcissist. It is impossible, unless they want something from you. You will receive abuse & disrespect #dangerous

7. Choose to walk away. Ain't nobody got time for narcissism in their lives & your mental health will suffer greatly. 8. If the narcissist ignores or ghost you, let them. They have violated your boundaries & you should never let them back in your life. The silent treatment is

A #manipulative tactic to get what they want. Do not be pulled back in when they decide they want your friendship again. It will be a cycle of abuse. Find new healthier people to spend time with. Have strong #boundaries Narcissists suck the life & joy out of you #hoover #imsorry

9. They may seek #revenge. You may to bring in legal & law enforcement, family, friends &/or detectives to assist depending on the 'revenge'. 10. Be prepared for them to manipulate you. Learn how to manage manipulation & deception. 11. They may try to guilt you into forgiveness

They didn't mean it, it won't happen again, they are sorry (yet again), they promise to change, they joke about their anger management problems. 12. Trust & maintain your network, if the narcissist hasn't already tried to use them as a narcissistic agent #deception #lietome

13. #Triangulation is common this is where they will try to get some of your network or family on their side This is toxic & harmful because the issue is between you & narcissist only. Always tell your your family friends colleagues at work & explain what has happened #truth

so that the narcissist cannot 'use' them. If your friends can't respect that then maybe you need to reconsider them as friends. Their optimal response should be "you need to go and speak to the person involved in the matter, not me". This is healthy boundary setting #goodfriends

I hope this helps and may you remain free of #nsrcissiticabuse #narcissitic behaviors ✨irrespective of their 'label'. All these unhealthy behaviors are the same, despite who is engaging in them. Stay safe & free from abuse for your #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #MenToo