Thread by @PnictogenHorses

I am a #unicorn! you may believe that, or not.

my sense of self isn't dependent upon outsiders' scorn; in any case, I'm quite content to be regarded as a mere figment of a crazy person's imagination. that's little impediment to my life and purpose in the Pnictogen Wing.

(1/x)

I daresay that I'm unusually *practical* for a unicorn. my interests are mundane ones; I like science and engineering and working in shops and keeping things running as smoothly as possible, and while I'm no atheist or positivist, I leave magic and religion to others.

(2/x)

all the same—it's a painful thing, being a unicorn in a world that has attempted to *wipe out* creativity and mysticism and magic—a world that embraces cruelty and casual sneers at suffering and death. I may have been ethereal once; I am not, now.



(3/x)

being a unicorn is one reason for my heartfelt loathing of @jk_rowling and her cack-handed #HarryPotter writings—and it distresses me greatly that this literary fraud (and cauldron of bigotry) has pretended to be a great writer, a bringer of joy and wonder to children.

(4/x)

for #JKRowling *murders a unicorn* in "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" for no better reason than making her humdrum villain more villainous—and because she wants to use "unicorn blood" as a magical gimmick. it's superficial, offensive writing, typical of Rowling.

(5/x)

her prose straggles from gimmick to gimmick; my guess is that #JKRowling truly *despises* #ChildrensBooks and considers herself to be _too good_ for children's writing.

"just give the little monsters something to distract them" is the mood that breathes through her work.

(6/x)

and what better way to keep the children hooked on her junk-food fantasy than by *murdering a unicorn*? it's the #HarryPotter equivalent of stuffing a dead girlfriend in a refrigerator, and it leads to nothing (or, it leads to six more books, each drearier than the last.)

(7/x)

I have to admit that in unicornish matters, though, the crimes of #JKRowling and #HarryPotter don't anger me nearly as much as the crimes of #business and #investment grifters, who have turned "#Unicorns" into a mere label for some moneymaking thing: the "unicorn startup".

(8/x)

you may look up that debased usage here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicorn_(…

it means rather little—it's merely a privately owned startup company with a large enough heap of #money to play with. that is to say, there's nothing genuinely unique about the #finance idea of "unicorn".

(9/x)

any confidence trickster in #business, any avaricious money-grubber from the proliferating ranks of #entrepreneurs, is capable of raking in a lot of funding from gullible #investors—#investment is merely gambling, and there's no shortage of punters wanting to deal in.

(10/x)

so there's nothing really amazing about collecting a big enough heap of venture capital—even a chaotic charlatan like @elonmusk has been able to manage it, because he started out with lots of money (from his dad's blood emeralds) and people lend you *more* if you're rich.

(11/x)

that's one of the fundamental absurdities of #capitalism: capitalists only really like betting on *sure* things, so the easiest way to get rich off #investment money is to be rich already.

anyway, the #finance "#unicorn" is an insult to unicorns and their uniqueness.

(12/x)

not that anyone in finance or investment will care what I say on this—I just wanted to point out that it *was* an insult, and also quite characteristic of the trivializing, superficial culture of #capitalism and #money, which turns *every* word into a mere brand.

~Mona Drafter