In just one hour @dan_abramov will be taking the @jsconfis stage to give one of the most hyped talks of conference history. You know what that means?
YES, IT'S LIVE HOT TAKE TWITTER THREAD TIME 👇
YES, IT'S LIVE HOT TAKE TWITTER THREAD TIME 👇
Hello viewers. My name is Jani Eväkallio and I am your host for today's spectacle. We are joined here in the studio by Max Stoiber, who some people (me, just now) insist on calling Austrian Dan Abramov.
@mxstbr, how excited are you about today's event?
@mxstbr, how excited are you about today's event?
Also in the studio today, a guy who insists he is indeed here, @thekitze. Kitze, can you tell our viewers at home what should we expect from Dan's performance today? Do you think he can repeat his 2015 ReactConf success?
Here we have it, ladies and gentleman. @mxstbr's excitement levels have reached the famous "eleven". It's going to be "off the charts" so to speak (heh heh). Needless to say the anticipation is almost unbearable, but yet here we are, bearing it.
Ooof! A real curveball from @thekitze, who isn't mincing any words. Apparently "Vue" is in, and "React" is out. Hard to believe, but this man (sometimes) knows what he is talking about. We'll just have to wait and see.
I think we have a caller on the line. @oliverturner, what's on your mind?
(whispers to earpiece): goddammit greg i told you not not let any loonies through
All right, and that was Oliver with some incoherent rambling, apologies for those of you whose children had to hear that.
All right, and that was Oliver with some incoherent rambling, apologies for those of you whose children had to hear that.
Now, if there was one person who could help us make sense of what is about to unfold in Iceland today, that would be @threepointone. Sunil, are you able to lift the veil of secrecy just a little and give our viewers at home a little taste of what is coming?
While we wait for Sunil to check with his lawyers, I have been told we have a complaint letter from a viewer that this "thread is just too good".
@tlakomy, the Block button is right there, don't hesitate to smash it.
@tlakomy, the Block button is right there, don't hesitate to smash it.
Seems like @threepointone was given the good ol' "gag order". His lawyers have also slapped us (literally) with a cease and desist. All we know at this point is that the shit, whatever it is, is good.
We've just been informed that our New Jersey correspondent @ken_wheeler has been roused from his sleep and will be joining in us shortly via satellite in his PJs. This man is known for his "hot takes", can't wait to see what he has to say. Ken, over to you.
While we wait for Ken, let's go to commercials.
Today's event is sponsored by @flutterio by @Google. Flutter is allows you to make beautiful native apps in record time, using everybody's favorite programming language, DART. Flutter, it's a thing.
flutter.io
Today's event is sponsored by @flutterio by @Google. Flutter is allows you to make beautiful native apps in record time, using everybody's favorite programming language, DART. Flutter, it's a thing.
flutter.io
In this segment, we are joined by @kentcdodds aka KCD aka K-Dog aka Discman aka Doddo. If you believe him, we're about to have our best practices upended and bad is now good. The Purge is coming, viewers, better get prepared.
It's now 10:05 Greenwich Meridian Time, and we are still waiting for the live feed from Iceland. We have our field reporter, @marcelcutts on site, breathlessly tugging on his trademark leggings. Marcel, what can you tell us?
While we wait, another word from our sponsors.
This twitter feed is sponsored by Alcohol. Alcohol is good. Enjoy Alcohol responsibly.
This twitter feed is sponsored by Alcohol. Alcohol is good. Enjoy Alcohol responsibly.
It appears suspense may have killed our field reporter @marcelcutts. It appears we are about to kick off shortly, thanks to viewers at home for sticking with us through this difficult time.
The rumours of @marcelcutts's death have been (once again) premature. Here's the live feed from Marcel and a superfan @kateawhalen
OK, DAN IS ON STAGE. JOIN US HERE, LET'S START THE HOT TAKE TWEET MACHINE 2018.jsconf.is/live/
"I want to dedicate my entire talk to these new features that aren't available yet"
Thanks, DAN
Thanks, DAN
Demo time!
Holy shit is that @FormidableLabs Victory???
This is some @SpaceX stuff right here. Demonstrating cpu-bound bottlenecks in rendering. 
TIL DevTools have CPU throttling! Oh the jank!
"jscnof"
"jscong"
Async rendering solves render jank and prioritises user interactivity, which keeps your apps responsive on slow devices. Sweet! 👏
Hot takes from our correspondents
Minds are blown
"We have another demo"
import { createFetched } from '../future';
whoa DAN
whoa DAN
"The next step is going to be a little bit controversial"
HERE IT COMES PEOPLE
HERE IT COMES PEOPLE
Async rendering! Fetching data in your render method! What is this sorcery!
"I built this little dev tool for this demo"
classic DAN
classic DAN
"It's very convenient to have access to the future"
... cmon DAN
... cmon DAN
Discman's back with some conspiracy theories... I WANT TO BELIEVE
npm install future
sorry i meant yarn
Kill your darlings
"Dan promised me I was going to hate it. I'm not hating it." - our studio commentator @_philpl
"Yeah I just added code splitting to my app"
A word from our sponsors, Alcohol.
Drink alcohol. It quenches your thirst.
Drink alcohol. It quenches your thirst.
"I'm bad at this, right"
TWIST! Async image loading!
"Suspense"
damn right DAN
damn right DAN
This turtleneck means there's going to be "one more thing"
Solving performance with Async Rendering. This. Stuff. Is. So. Dope.
twitter.com is having hard time rendering this thread. If only they had async rendering.
All right, that was all from us today. Thank you for joining us at home. Feel free to call in with your post-game analysis. Apologies to @dan_abramov for everything.
Thank you to our correspondents @mxstbr @thekitze @oliverturner @threepointone @tlakomy @ken_wheeler @kentcdodds @marcelcutts @KateAWhalen @_philpl @jpdriver. We couldn't have done it without you. Well, we could've, but it wouldn't have been as fun.
Thanks to our sponsors. @flutterio. It's a thing.
Big ups to @FormidableLabs, who paid for me to sit at work and tweet nonsense.
