Thread by @gatamchun

Rascal stream thread

"sorry but while I talk in the training arena I'd prefer no donations/bits"

Donation: "fuck Dallas Fuel"
Rascal: no don't do that...

"Before I start, I want to say to the non-KR fans that I can't speak in English to them, I have to speak in Korean to talk about this"

"Now that I'm on stream, it almost feels like it's not a big deal... where should I start?"

"In brief about why I was released from Dallas Fuel: in general, I think I need to talk about everything, but the reason was that I wasn't able to harmonize with the team. That's probably the biggest one, communication issues, working with the team..."

Some people are saying I was advocating for something "right" and Dallas wouldn't accept my opinion/view, but to be honest... it's not just one side's problem, I can't just say that definitively.

As a pro player, I've never not been in a pro team, and now I'm an FA. So in a way I'm glad I can talk freely (as an FA) and this is kind of an opportunity.

As a pro, I've always been forthright and direct about my views. At first in Kongdoo, I thought as long as I'm doing well myself, that's the most important thing. It's true that maybe I wanted to be an individual star.

But after I became captain, and started feeling responsible for the team... *sigh*
Tbh, I feel very apologetic to my teammates. In Kongdoo, I think I was a good teammate, but in Dallas, I don't think I can say that I was a very good teammate. So I want to say sorry to them.

I think I was exhausted a bit too... when I was on Kongdoo, when I wanted to fix a problem, "this is what I think" I could communicate that to my teammates and we could work through it, be patient, look at things long term.

In Dallas, I think I was impatient, and maybe tired, so for my teammates, it might have seemed like I was really rushing into things, being very enthusiastic/direct in how I assert myself. So I think socially I wasn't very adept? Because it's not just about a "pro mindset."

Maybe it's because I thought I was already good at Kongdoo, I'm ready, so maybe I trusted myself too much, I was too selfish...

It's probably a shame from the POV of the org, too. Maybe I was exhausted, there were communication issues, so for the org it was a difficult situation... I'm honestly grateful to the org.

There was someone I could talk to about advice, and I did talk to that person a lot, but... I have to keep improving myself. I want to use this as an opportunity to learn about myself, and be more flexible and less forthright.

Kyky gave me a lot of advice on that count, and I think he was helpful with that.

So I want to say sorry to all the fans who anticipated my joining Dallas, and had high expectations, and I want to tell them that I'm going to keep working hard to improve, and come back.

It's back to the drawing board, lol. I think I lost the mindset I had at the beginning, yeah. I think I'm going to stay pro.

The biggest issue with Dallas was, beyond gameplay, everything outside the game. Or maybe this is in-game too? My communication with the teammates. That used to be my strength, and when that became an issue, then it resulted in bad gameplay.

Shotcalling, preparing strategy... my playstyle is trying to support my fellow DPS who would carry the game. (laughs) Because my hero pool... If I had stayed on Tracer after APEX S3's first game, I don't know that I would have kept playing OW.

I like trying a variety of heroes, so my strength is supporting a partner with that. Making unexpected picks, creating variables...

I honestly don't know how I played like that on McCree against NY. I never thought of myself as a player with stellar aim, like "holy shit that dude is insane." I'm more about strategy, maybe that's why I was perceived as a not that mechanically amazing player...

My heroes are also more impacted by team composition and team play, so I think that's why my performance might look like it fluctuates? If my team pops off, it might look like I'm doing amazing, but if my team collapses...

Dallas is supporting me in terms of where I'm staying, I don't have to go back to KR immediately, they'll let me stay until I find a new team or go back to Korea. And I have an aunt in the US.

There's been a lot of talk about boosting, because of OGE and his past... a lot of people asked about me playing with him. And of course, boosting is bad. They're ruining the game, and it negatively impacts our career as progamers. But they say to hate the crime, not the person.

It's not like he threw because he didn't want to play the game. He did do wrong, but he is remorseful about it, he says so, and as someone who was his teammate, I don't want to be like "you boosting son of a bitch", I don't think that's professional either.

He can repent and improve. Look at me, I wasn't able to work with my team, and created all this controversy! Gotta fix the issues, improve...

And tbh, because I was teammates with aKm, I really want to tell him I'm sorry. The things I did that didn't look mature, and ultimately getting released from the team... I wish him the best.

And I want to ask him to not think the worst of me, because I went through a lot getting traded from London to Dallas, so there was a lot going on for me. So for looking kind of immature, I want to apologize.

And Winz... besides everything else, he said I'm good at manipulating public sentiment, so I want to thank him for that compliment. But I want to tell him that the first rule of manipulating public sentiment is keeping your mouth shut.

I've had some negative experiences with social media, yeah, so I wasn't really on social media because of that, like Twitter... I find people who post about what they eat and their daily lives on Twitter/social media so fascinating. Like I would just eat and just say "good meal."

Or at Disneyland, I'll probably post a picture saying "fun time." I think I just keep missing a beat. Because my teammates have already posted something about good teammates or something, but I'll just save the picture, and then remember about posting it way too late.

I speak SO FAST in Korean, I can communicate super well! I really want to study English, honestly, but what I worried about was that my English wouldn't ever get to where I need it to be, no matter how hard I studied. Like would I be able to rap?

I know some words and things, how to use them, aim, half, under, right side, left side, above, below, all these things... ok for example, if I want to say there's a Tracer over there behind the wall with super low health, I can't say that in English

" Around the corner on the left, inside the room, second floor, third floor, second floor indoors." I can't be specific. I can shot-call when it comes to ult economy, but...

omg someone just donated a huge amount of bits and KR fans are teasing him saying it's his pension

According to OWL rules, for players who have left their team based on mutual agreement or team discord, the team is not required to continue to pay the player, but Dallas agreed to pay me till the end of the season.

So I'm going to focus on streaming, and maybe look for a team... someone asked me something earlier, what was it? Anyway I can take questions now...
WAIT WAIT WAIT
I really wanted to say this, about my performance.

When my performance looks like it fluctuates, there's actually not that big of a difference. The reason I wans't very good on London, I think I had some confidence issues, how I was getting talked about in the community, "why is he getting played"

I want my teammates to think that when I get subbed in, "oh yeah we're going to win!" but I think my teammates were influenced by the community, so when I got subbed in, I think they also thought "oh it's Dongjun". Same on Dallas...

I think of myself as an all-rounder, but I also think I'm more aware of how inefficient it is to play everything that isn't Tracer. I thought Dallas had a good system, with a hitscan specialist (aKm), a Tracer specialist (Effect), and me (a niche hero specialist).

But basically I don't want people to keep getting hurt by community chatter. (I'm summarizing here I missed some stuff while typing) Like, I heard aKm got hurt by that kind of criticism. But when I get subbed in, it's not like I'm coming in like "HAHA I'M BETTER THAN YOUUUU"

I miss the London members, definitely. It was fun. London has a lot of weirdos, but I really think Profit is a total wacko.

Profit is honestly unsurpassable [in his wackiness]. He's for real. (laughs)

Lots of disagreements with Kyky? Not at all. They weren't often, we used the same room and talked a lot of strategy, I shared a lot of thoughts with him... I just think the team's situation wasn't very good, we weren't able to synergize. And I think that was a same.

I hope people don't think too badly of Kyky. Really.

I hope people don't think that I ignore coaches, or disagree frequently with coaches, or assert myself too dogmatically... it's possible it may have seemed that way... but I was happy that I had a coach I could rely on at Dallas.

Like if the coach wants to achieve objective A, then I would suggest ideas that are A-1, or A-2, using my hero pool, bringing in ideas. A supporter. That's what I wanted to do, I think that's what I'm suited for.

I'll work hard to come back and show a good performance in OWL. And my plans are to work hard on gaming, to work out diligently, read a lot of books, learn some fucking English word ffs Dongjun (talking to himself) just learn those damn words

"Rascal stay streamer!" (prob responding to twitch chat)
Ok, so what exactly is "talent"? Because I don't think I'm talented at streaming. I'm not funny, I don't overreact to things because it makes me cringe... please don't laugh at me I'm being serious!!!

I really respect xQc. He's the real deal. I haven't met many people who are that entertaining.

I want to learn how to stream from xQc, but to be honest... (laughing)
...silence...
I've always wanted to be a player that takes feedback, takes criticism from fans and everyone, but I think it's hard...

But yeah, it really feels like a new start. I'm going to take a short break, some time off, and... work hard.

If I were to send a video message to aKm right now: (looks at camera) I'm so sorry, please don't think the worst of me.

Actually, this Sunday, I'm going to visit the London teamhouse.

I'll go beat up Bdosin for the first time in a while... I was watching him throw those orbs and I think he needs a wakeup call. I think coach Changgoon has been going soft on him.

Didn't you hear xQc? "that fucking mushroom head is killing everyone." Hey Bdosin, you're also playing that mushroom head hero. Maybe I'll buy you those round glasses [that Jjonak wears]? Maybe that's where his power comes from?

Got any questions, guys? For me?
Responding to question about stream: I'll stream 5 days a week

I wish, I hope... but sometimes... I can't do that...

The biggest reason for Dallas's continued struggles? Um... Up to checking for ults, that does well, but when it comes to countering ults, the communication within the team doesn't work very well. Small shotcalls.

Like, we need to bait out their ults and go in on the next push. That kind of stuff.

(reading) What do you think of Effect?

Really, really good Tracer player, I think.

If I was mad about losing a match or something, then I wouldn't want to talk, I'd just go home and sleep, just deal with it alone. But Effect says "I'm really angry!" out loud, like AAARGH. That was fascinating to me. He expresses it.

I don't mean to criticize Effect, I just think his style is very different from mine, so it was interesting.

(reading question) How will I practice for next season?
Hmm... I think if I stay here, I'll duo with pro players here. If I go back to Korea... that might not happen. Because it's a different server.

(Reading) Will you stream other games?

I'm not that talented to stream/play other games, I should just stick to playing Overwatch.

LOL oh "Getting Over It"? Well, I am talented, so maybe I'll sometimes stream that, I'll beat it in 3 hours.

Someone asked about making a Discord channel, but I need some help, is there anyone out there who can help, and teach me how to make one and manage it? And what's good about having one?

If I make one... I don't know if I'll be able to answer all the questions you'll have for me. Effect said he had one, but idk exactly how he uses it. Maybe I'll just make one right now??

*creates discord*
YYAAAAAYYYYYY *clapping*

ok, so if anyone can help with this, I'll give you the authority to send out invites and maybe manage it for a little bit?
I also want to commission banners for subscribing, twitter, etc, because they're all Dallas logo ones right now. So if anyone can do that...

Because I want to also supply some of my input, my preferences for those banners... is there anyone who can take the commission?

Or maybe I'll make it a contest, with prize money for the winner? Would that be better?

I'd also like to promote stuff on Reddit... and maybe a translator for my streams? Today happily there's a translator in the Twitch chat, but they can't do it all the time... Ok, so I'll set up an email for this stuff for people to contact me.

I want to be a good streamer and a good pro player.

(sorry guys I missed his email and Idk if I can scroll thru twitch chat rn lol)

I'm sorry I had to break such bad news to the fans, and thank you everyone for cheering for me. I'll work hard, and I'll come back a good [player], and thanks for your support.

Oh, here's some info: I'm getting a meal with Kyle tomorrow.

Everyone thinks we hate each other lol. There's no beef.
And originally, we were supposed to watch the Dallas game tomorrow together, I could go but Kyky is busy with work stuff, so he said he couldn't.

If I have my hand outstretched, with my Dallas uniform, will they high five me? yaaay
Everyone'll be like "oh wow how does he have those actual pro player uniforms with the special detailing"
And I'll be like "look I'm such a big fan, I even have my own battletag on here"

Oh if you want to get something signed, you have to go on evenings when they have the fanmeets, so...
Ok, so I think basically everyone who was watching because they were curious about what happened with Dallas has left. I think I've said everything there is to say...

I think I'll just game now.
*leaves training arena*
Oh shit, this account doesn't have any friends! Ugh....
(reading chat) Oh, IDDQD is looking for me?

Profit in whisper chat: hyung why am I a wacko
Rascal in chat: do not question when I speak facts

Ok, he's solo-queueing now, taking donations and subs and talking to fans. He's telling a fan he remembers them.

Thanks for joining me peeps, hope you found this helpful. This old lady gotta go to bed now.