Things that help ME when I'm down:
- perspective:
- being real ("this does suck")
- imagining in 5 years (it'll probably be OK)
- helping someone else
- distractions:
- walk in nature (observing, not thinking)
- silliness & minor "adventures"
- books & movies
- perspective:
- being real ("this does suck")
- imagining in 5 years (it'll probably be OK)
- helping someone else
- distractions:
- walk in nature (observing, not thinking)
- silliness & minor "adventures"
- books & movies
If you think I'm having a hard time and you don't know what to do, try ^ those things on me.
I really appreciate the people I feel safe enough to "be real" with, who I feel I can share the not-happy parts of life with, without worrying that they'll just offer platitudes or minimizations or judgments.
Conspicuously absent from my personal list of helpful things is creativity. When I'm feeling down, I don't have the creative energy I usually do, and forcing myself to try just highlights how it's missing. So "just write!" doesn't work well for me, even though I usually like to.
Thinking more about the apparent contradiction between knowing that "imagine whether this will be a big deal in 5 years" vs hating minimization… I think the difference is whether *I* am doing it or someone else is.
Also conscipuously absent from my list: heavy socializing. I'm normally an introvert. Parties don't help when I'm already low on emotional energy. Even going out to a meal with friends feels too much like "putting on a happy face".
(For someone else, these things might be exactly what they need! What helps is going to be a highly personalized set of things. But don't mistake YOUR needs/preferences for other people's.)
I'm noticing how well cats fit into my self-care list: I can cry into their fur but they don't judge or minimize, they don't worry about 5 years from now, petting them feels like I'm doing something nice for someone else, they ARE nature, and they are definitely silly. ;)
