It is often perceived that when a woman has a child she automatically ‘forgets’ about being a wife to her husband and ‘marries her children’. Let’s talk about this from the northern Nigerian or even generally Nigerian point of view, shall we?!
THREAD!!!
THREAD!!!
So, in our part of the world, a husband is ‘KING’ in the home and must be treated as such. This treatment of the king must be met to the last in order for a woman to be seen as a ‘good wife’ irrespective of whatever may be going on in her own personal life.
Now this woman takes in and with time she begins the process of becoming a mother in some/a-lot of discomfort (not to sound negative but pregnancy comes with some discomfort) and of course this reduces her abilities to 100% take care of the king/husband.
To previous tweet 👆🏽Allah (SWT) says in Surah Al-Ahkaf verse 15 in the Quran “And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship”
You all must be thinking what’s the point of the thread, so let’s not bore you with details of the discomforts of pregnancy and childbirth. Fast forward to the arrival of the baby, in this case usually the first, the wife being a first time mother now has to learn a lot of things
Remember I’m talking to the northern Nigerian point of view first before anything else and in northern Nigeria ‘SOME’ men do not even come close to a new mom before she finishes the traditional 40days jego because “Tana qarnin haihuwa/jego” talk less of support with the new baby.
Now our society still expects the new mother with very little time for her own self because of the time consuming nature of tending/catering to/for a newborn baby to still take care of the husband in that 100% kingly manner in order to maintain her ‘good wife’ title.
Let’s not forget it is more than natural for a MOTHER to get carried away taking care of a child because even God almighty has acknowledged the bond between a mother and her child, there’s nothing a mother cannot do for her child’s comfort.
Baffles me how we now have preachers condemning women for (singlehandedly) taking care of their children more than their husbands and not seeing anything wrong with men who let their wives singlehandedly parent their kids while they fold legs and wait for usual kingly treatments!
Our preachers should also remind the man who folds his arms and lets his wife do all the parenting to their kid(s) and still complains about being neglected, that that he has also forgotten he has also become a FATHER and is not just a HUSBAND TO THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD(REN).
Maybe if both husband and wife take part in taking care of and attending to the needs of their child(ren), the wife would not forget she’s a wife - I mean how can she when the husband is always there - and the king would keep being treated as a king.
I don’t think real kings let their wives go through ‘phases’ and ‘challenges’ alone when they can help them through it. Plus you all can play love while at it. And for once, TREAT YOUR WOMEN LIKE QUEENS, you won’t die!
Before we drag, in a Hadith reported by Bukhari and Muslim, Prophet Muhammad(SAW) said to "Make things easy and convenient and do not make them harsh and difficult. Give cheers and glad tidings and do not create hatred...". Who better to practice this that a husband and wife?!
And Allah says "And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from amongst yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think." (Q30:21)
In this verse we see that Allah regards the creation of spouses - the husband and wife - as a sign of His greatness. Not only did He create them, but for peace and harmony between the two, He Himseld placed love and mercy between them so that they can live a life of tranquility.
And Allah knows Best! I’m done talking. Feel free to correct where I’m wrong, may Allah swt continue to guide us to what is right and protect us from falling into avoidable error just because “it’s been like that since our forefathers”. Salamu alaykum, Kings And Queens!
