I hear from a lot of men that the term "mansplaining" feels dismissive and rude. You're not wrong.
Imagine how it feels to have your experience and competence constantly invalidated
by men who possess equal to far less expertise on a topic
seems kinda rude and dismissive, eh?
Imagine how it feels to have your experience and competence constantly invalidated
by men who possess equal to far less expertise on a topic
seems kinda rude and dismissive, eh?
I really do sympathize with guys who find it uncomfortable. It reminds me of the discomfort I often felt and still sometimes feel when people of color refer to white people as a general evil, as doing something terrible. But they… aren't…wrong.
White people do shitty things all the time, yes, even the well meaning "good" ones, because we exist in a whiteness-promiting societal construct that benefits us in a million nearly invisible ways and has taught our privileged asses a million terrible things very effectively.
In a similar fashion, men have existed for a very long time in a patriarchal system that has benefitted them and pushed down women for a very long time. Men do shitty things all the time without any visibility into this habit because they've been programmed not to notice it.
There are a million other ways in which the privileged act shitty to the under-privileged all the time, across all sectors of all societies. "Mansplaining" is catchy and apt; men happen to be incredibly fragile as they've only recently had their massive privilege called out.
I encourage anyone (my own sanctimonious white privileged ass included) to think more about the people you might be inadvertently oppressing with every aspect of your conditioned existence, rather than freaking out about a word that makes you feel attacked.
Exactly this—sometimes politeness is a tool to keep the oppressed people oppressed, to keep the comfy status quo. Set aside the fragility (and I know that term is uncomfortable too, but it's accurate) and just sit with the yucky feeling. Ok fine, "please"
Anyway @kimgoodwin's flow chart is fucking rad, not because it's trying to make you feel bad for being a man (it's not) or to accuse you (it's not). For men genuinely trying to parse when they are mansplaining and truly can't tell, this is gold. And it's free labor. Appreciate!!
(Okay last Tweet O' the Rant, at least for now—but FYI I don't get into many online "fights." Literally the only times where pals have gotten so angry they've loudly and proudly unfollowed/blocked me, it's always men who are just THAT uncomfortable with the term "mansplaining")
Ok one more—I used the ableist term "freaking out" in a prior tweet here. That's shitty; it stigmatizes mental illness. Language we've normalized.
"Ableist" is an uncomfortable label, but denying it solves nothing. Join me in working to improve instead of 😭 abt the terminology!
"Ableist" is an uncomfortable label, but denying it solves nothing. Join me in working to improve instead of 😭 abt the terminology!
