The sexual abuse occurred over ten years. Most of the time, I denied that what happened actually happened. Because when it's your mother, you find ways to rationalize the behavior, even when, by any objective viewpoint, it should clearly be abuse. (thread)
#WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport
I said nothing to no one. I felt our already chaotic, abusive household would explode, and denial is a very powerful thing. Who would protect me? Who would protect us?
I also felt no one would believe me, and indeed, years later, after I started speaking about it publicly, her family refused to believe me and still do not. I haven't spoken to any of them in more than a decade.
I called three different lawyers in Texas in 2012 to ask about my options, and all three, without fail, asked the same two questions:
1. When did it occur? (Followed by "I'm sorry the statute of limitations for criminal charges has already passed.")
and
2. Does your mother have any assets? (Followed by "It may not be worth pursuing this.")
and
2. Does your mother have any assets? (Followed by "It may not be worth pursuing this.")
I think the idea that survivors can be criticized for not reporting immediately is some of the most jaw-dropping, awful nonsense in the public discourse.
You don't sound smart or Socratic when you demand to know why a survivor didn't report. You sound like an aloof asshole who has never taken more than five minutes to think outside your own existence. /thread
