The lowering of standards begins imperceptibly in early childhood when you are around family members who say rude cruel things about women. They get a pass, your self esteem begins it’s downward creep.
Sexism all over tv in books in school boys treated one way girls another you internalize it without consciousness. Your consciousness, only just developing, being pummeled by misogyny you can’t even see.
A boy shoves you against a wall and makes him kiss you, you’re seven, you tell people, doesn’t seem like a big deal, you were terrified.
Maybe you go to a catholic school or some other place where women are literally second class citizens not allowed, by spiritual rule, to lead.
A boy playing in your yard pulls his dick out. Scared confused grossed out you tell your mom even though you feel ashamed about it like you caused it and indeed she gets mad and asks you why you’re playing with a kid like that.
Meanwhile media media media magazines magazines magazines.
Meanwhile be nice be really nice think about other people not yourself. That’s cool because if I started thinking about myself I’d probably have a nervous breakdown.
In catholic school Sex ed they showed a movie about a legless man who sold pencils in the street and also a movie about a kid who dies of heartbreak I don’t recall much else. You could ask a stern and hateful nun any question you had, go ahead.
Meanwhile in the street older guys call you jailbait and always harass you, random dudes flash their dicks from cars and bushes, a gang of boys on bikes block your way and threaten to kiss you and/or grope you, can’t remember. They don’t.
You won’t get groped for another few years, by the man behind you on an escalator in an upscale shopping mall in Boston. You are wearing pants, in case anyone is wondering. You always make sure to say that, weird.
Never mind what’s even happening at home. That’s a whole other thread.
So keep wondering why a girl would go to a party where girls were getting raped, keeps going after she gets raped. There is a whole world of experience and psychology you cannot comprehend your privilege and safety has kept you so protected.
You have been soaking in misogyny for so long you think it is the air it is invisible you don’t believe it’s there but it is you. You are the misogyny. You are rotten with it. You are poisoning the world with it.
Misogynist women too. Sorry for what happened to your soul but you better get it together time is up for you too.
We believe survivors, we are survivors. Every single woman in this country living under the constant threat of male violence, our brains engaged in a chronic computation fear vs desire: I want to go out/drink/dance/jog/run to the store and not be raped - survivors.
Anyway I could go on this is only a portion. So many rapey boys and men around me growing up. Just learned a childhood friend’s father tried to rape another friend. Thank you everyone for speaking out this week. So brave and cool, I’m shaken, hopeful. Their toxic power is leaving
