Thread by @ArmaniTalks

Here's the thing about relationships.

The good ones don't really need rules to tell them how to act like a decent partner.

But the rotten ones?

They need the rules clearly identified.

Once the rules are identified, they will proceed to look for every loophole they can find.

This is a very important concept that you need to start looking out for.

'Is it that important?'

Yes.

Many people who have had sour relationships will tell you the same exact thing.

'Can you explain the pyschology behind this?'

Ya I can.

It all starts with ....👇

The core of a person.

Who are they?

'Uh...I don't get it.'

You don't get it because you have no clue where to start.

I just asked you a very general question.

So let's make it more specific.

High or low self esteem?

'Ah..that's much easier to answer!'

'But question. Why does their self esteem matter in terms of a relationship?'

It matters because you simply project your internal world to the external world.

That's pyschology 101.

Therefore identifying the core of the person you're dating is veryy important.

Now let's go back to the initial tweet.

The good ones don't need rules.

Why?

Because acting like a decent person is their norm.

They find it baffling that anyone would get into a relationship to lie, cheat & manipulate.

This group simply cannot wrap their head around that.

For this group, they enter a relationship with pure intentions.

Identifying rules is even better just for communication purposes, but without the rules?

They would still be quality stand up people.

'I see. Their high self esteem is being protected to the relationship.'

Yep!

But the rotten ones?

Exact opposite.

For them being a standup person is a foreign concept.

They wouldn't know what decency was if it walked up to them butt naked & smacked them across the face.

This group has very low self worth.

So what does that mean?

'They project venom'

Correct.

This group will need the relationship rules clearly identified.

But theres no point really.

You are literally identifying it so they can scheme anyways.

'What are they going to do.'

They will look for loopholes.

'Example?'

Hm...

Let's say you tell the person to avoid hanging out with their ex.

They may instead text or call their ex.

And when you catch em, they will be like: 'You said I couldn't hang out. You didn't say anything about texting or calling.'

This is just a small example of many.

But what happens is that the good person is now fooled into thinking: 'hmm... maybe I wasnt clear enough.'

And they forgive.

Want to know what happens next?

'What?'

The same shit, but just for a different situation.

When you forgive, they are onto their next loophole.

'Oh no! You are strangely describing the person that I'm dating right now. Can they change?'

Depends if they think there is something worth changing in the first place.

This is why I brought up the whole self esteem part.

Remember, you cannot change another humans core.

Only they can change their core.

You can beg the person you're dating to change as much as you want.

But if their core is low quality, then they will always act low quality.

'Okay just curious. What will happen if I stay in the relationship anyways? You think I can uplift em?'

Nope.

Exact opposite.

A toxic person sucks the energy out of a good person.

Very rarely, if ever, have I seen a good person change a toxic person for good.

They will normally put on an act & then go back to their old ways.

'So you're saying I'll be drained of energy??'

Ya.

But it doesn't only stop with you being drained of energy in the relationship.

The energy drainage will spill over to other parts of your life.

'How?'

You will accumulate more stress from your relationship.

This stress will negatively impact your goals, dreams & social life.

And all this for what?

Chances are the toxic person will either cheat on you, dump you, or you will realize what I'm saying is true & you decide to end it.

Regardless, the human core is the human core.

You can be 'Captain Save a Broken Birdie'

But just know itll end poorly.

'So what should I do?'

Easy.

1. Place importance over their actions rather than words.

2. Level up your psychology & emotional intelligence, then analyze your partners personality.

-Remember, keep it simple.

-High or low self esteem?

And work from there.

Once you analyze & have come out with a conclusion act on it accordingly.

Avoid this whole nonsense of trying to fix em.

That's not your job.

You get into a relationship to enhance one another.

Not play parent & treat them how to act like an adult.

Real talk.

Look out for yourself.

Plenty of toxic people floating in the dating world.

I would say the majority are toxic tbh.

So do your due diligence to find a high quality person to date.

GL!

For more tips & tactics for emotional intelligence & psychology, follow @ArmaniTalks 🗝