Thread by @SvengaliPhantom

Okay, dearest SW friends... I am so sorry, about the length of this thread & how poorly I was able to condense it. But I would ask that you indulge me for five minutes on this one, if you can, because not only does that subject matter a lot to me, but, as happens often when I’m—

—sharing things like this(which seems to happen once every month/two, it seems), it sort of encompassed a lot of emotion.

But today I want to talk about Rey & this argument I keep seeing — more & more as the debate about Kylo’s in-canon possibility of redemption waxes & wanes

— that if Ben Solo *is* “redeemed” in #EpisodeIX, particularly if Rey is/becomes the catalyst, it means that JJ Abrams is somehow sending the awful message that it’s the hero’s — or the woman’s — job to pull the villain out of his own failed frying pan of a fire, and that in so—

—doing, it “proves” that his actions have been entirely without consequences, that he’ll “get away with” everything and thus learn nothing; which is why a lot of people — according to them — scoff at the idea of ANY kind of ending for Kylo other than his “very deserved” death as—

—a villain. Do evil, this argument says, and pay the price: it’s black & white, & to have Ben Solo redeemed with Rey’s help or support is to “reduce her to a tool”.

But at its heart, this argument isn’t about Kylo himself, or even about Rey— it’s about the very nature of SW, and

—the very nature of “redemption” itself. It’s about compassion vs. “enabling”, and how a surprising amount of people think there’s no middle ground between them. It’s about, as Star Wars has ALWAYS been, holding onto hope. For ourselves AND for others.

What I mean:

Kylo, the popular argument goes, doesn’t “deserve” to be redeemed at the end of the saga because he’s already rejected “multiple attempts to bring him back to the light”. It’s not Rey, or anyone’s, job to drag him home metaphorically kicking and screaming. The weight should not—

—be on her. That would send the message, they say, that you can be awful, be given ENDLESS chances, STILL choose to throw them away, & all will still be forgiven. And for some reason, Kylo’s repeated inability to accept the “offers” he’s been given seems to be the sticking point.

But:

If you’re hurt, if you’re lost, especially if you’re already halfway down a self-destructive path, it can seem impossible to find reasons to take the hard route up & out. Sometimes you just... can’t. You may need to, WANT to, but those inner demons are LOUD. And all the—

—self-flagellation and judgement and “they just need to get their sh*t together, if they REALLY wanted to change, they WOULD” in the world can’t & won’t change that. (In fact, in a whole lot of situations, that approach can cause more harm than good: if everyone else has given—

—up on you already, why cause yourself even more pain? Why sink even deeper into “failure”, when at the best of times it involves hard self-awareness, commitment, & a willingness to both accept & take responsibility for a life that already seems out of control? Who would *want*—

—to be in that darkness alone? Even if they know in their heart they have to, to save themselves?) And I’m not talking about simply “letting” someone “screw up everyone’s lives” or hurt others with impunity; I’m not talking about excusing harmful behaviors, or turning a blind—

—eye. Why is it, I wonder, that so many people hasten so completely to assuming that extreme? Being compassionate isn’t being “soft”, or weak; there IS a huge difference between “This is not okay, but it doesn’t matter because I love you”, and “I love you, but this is not okay”.

It’s the difference — and there IS one — between enabling, and having empathy. And this can make ALL the difference.

There’ve been *volumes* written about this as it relates to addiction and/or other mental health troubles, but I found this one excerpt that seems to sum it up:

And I think that — to bring this fully to the subject at hand — it really takes away from both Rey’s agency in her *choices* toward compassion(as we mentioned on this week’s podcast), and the very essence of her character, to assume that her reaching out to Kylo is him needing—

—to be “saved BY” someone, rather than his being saved “BECAUSE someone”... if that makes sense. People say things like “it’s not the woman’s job to save a man”... & that’s *absolutely* true. But there’s a middle ground between riding in on the proverbial white horse to rescue—

—someone from the repercussions of their own decisions — thus absolving them of responsibility and consequences — & having enough faith in someone’s ability to save *themselves* to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Just not the cart that carries them through it; that, they—

—*do* have to do for themselves, or at the very next twist in the path, the pattern will always repeat. And sometimes, it’s very hard for that person to understand that, until they’ve gotten lost a few times.

And if you really think about it, throughout the entire OT, Luke was—

—this light for Anakin Skywalker. It took both of them the entirety of those events to realize that Luke couldn’t save Vader — either by “turning” him back to the light side or, in Vader’s view, by helping him overthrow Palpatine — but Vader could save himself. And so much of—

—the emotional resonance and brilliance of @HamillHimself’s performance is that he makes us realize this right along with Luke... & Vader, who much like Kylo’s “Yes, I am” response to being called a monster, believed he was hopeless until someone believed he wasn’t. And there’s—

—that word again, what a coincidence.,Hope. “If you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night”. Rey, like Luke, has come to the realization that Kylo has/had(because, remember my perspective here for just one second) to save himself. That—

—he still CAN. And deep down, where it matters, at the heart of everything(because isn’t the heart where hope lives?), that’s what Star Wars is ABOUT. Redemption, according to GL. Saving yourself, like Leia. Becoming your own hero, like Luke. And then combining these lessons, to—

—pass them on, to enrich those who come after, to prove that love and family and hope will always overcome the dark, the deception, the oppression. Whether it be on a galactic scale... or within yourself. But you have to fight for it: to, in the words of @StephenKing: “Be brave,

—be true; stand.”

This is what Leia taught us; this is what Rey taught us. Every single moment of literal sweat, tears and blood, the fear & the shame and the exhilaration, led, in the end, to the chance at a better life being a better PERSON... because someone reached out and—

—said “When you get here, here I am. You can follow the sound of my voice. I love you.”

(to note: it was never *if* you “get here”... but *when*. No one’s ever really gone...)

And I will never get how anyone would think that compassion like that is somehow “weak”, or “sending—

—the wrong message” or proving that it just means some people can “get away with anything”, rather than it maybe being the most important message anyone *can* send... that where there’s life, there’s hope. That love wins.

That no one is ever really gone.

Thanks for reading. 🖤

(For anyone who doesn’t quite believe that what we experience is real, genuine, and a day-to-day-five-steps-forward-two-steps-back emotional journey uphill:

all of these things are things he’s learned — sometimes agonizingly — after weeks or months at a time of work. Sharing them is all we have; which is why @iKyloCast is, right now, our absolute priority. If I were to die tomorrow, this is what I’d leave behind. 🖤)

People I would be very honored to have read this, if and when they’d get a chance: @ItFigures1138. @evilgrrl, @benscalligraphy, @Maricey912, @veemarie_who, @jenleo1323, @CalJHarris, @TheStarWarsGirl, haha @rianjohnson whom I know will never, ever in a million years... I know I’m

forgetting some people AND I’M SO SORRY but I haven’t really uh, slept in like three days so 😅 please forgive me. You all put up with me already and I have honestly wept with gratitude some days.