We are doing Muslim youth a disservice by not having conversations around sex and relationships. We are sending young people out into the world armed only with the restrictions of religion w/o informing them of the beautiful realities of halal partnerships.
Too many of us lament the lack of Muslim youth seeking out marriage. But how can they want to enter into a system about which they only know the stipulations but not the benefits? Marriage sounds boring. No one is hipping youth to the beauty and power of halal love.
What I gathered from this weekend is that there is a strong hunger and desire to "get it right". There is also a reticence to enter into sexual relationships due to the massive fear and shame placed in Muslim youth by clergy, parents, and social messaging.
I pray that Allah allows me to continue this work. We are losing our connection to basic desires like companionship and sex because we are afraid. Fear has never been a way out. Time to dig in and get to work. The ummah needs an auntie.
One of the things I always do is remain transparent. In discussing marriage, I always explore the not-so-pretty realities of coupling. Marriage is hard. We need to explore how to navigate the challenges. No sense lying to the youth. That's a setup.
The oft-repeated mantra that "marriage is half your deen" is good, masha Allah, but it's the prologue. We have to teach the youth how to read, digest, and comprehend the rest of the book that is building a life with someone. #TVAMovement
Youth don't only learn from our successes, they learn from our failures. I let the youth know that choosing a partner takes time, marriage can be fulfilling, sex is fun, but all of it is challenging at times. For the sake of Allah, though, it is all worth it.
