Thread by @swardley

X : How do you do research?
Me : University or commercial?
X : Is there a difference?
Me : In academia, people tend to do the research before they submit the proposal to do the research in order to fit in with some sort of scheduled research delivery process / gantt chart ...

... i.e. they spend the time "researching" actually doing research on something else which once completed is submitted as the next research proposal so they guarantee milestones of when it'll be delivered (as it is already done). It's all about hitting KPIs etc.

X : What about commercial research?
Me : Well, a lot isn't actual research in the sense of creating a new field. It's more applied research. So there tends to be less uncertainty. Other areas, well you just have to embrace the chaos. Of course, people still want Gantt charts.

X : Is there any advice you can give?
Me : Be right a lot or if you're going to be wrong then fail quickly. Try to avoid people holding Gantt charts. Whatever you do, don't make eye contact.

X : What happens if you do?
Me : Make eye contact? Ohhh ... bad. You need to counter quickly. Ask them for a detailed Gantt chart covering how to fill in a Gantt chart. Don't offer any details yourself, just insist you don't know but the Gantt chart must be accurate.

X : You don't like Gantt charts?
Me : They're great for building bridges. I can say that because I don't build bridges. I'm sure bridge builders hate them as well. They do have their uses.