Thread by @Delafina777

*hard* side-eye to male would-be allies who are like, "I have decided to go to Gen Con to help protect the women there from Zak S and other abusers." Do we need to unpack all the ways this is... um... patronizing and performative "allyship"?

I mean, maybe we do.

So, A) it's allyship fail #1 which is substituting your judgment for what vulnerable/marginalized people need over listening to them.

I have yet to see any industry women/enbies/etc. I know saying, "please don't boycott Gen Con, men! We need your protection!"

I HAVE seen at least three female GOHs/Featured Speakers say please don't go to Gen Con until they agree to follow their own code of conduct.

B) The idea that you're going to roam the convention protecting vulnerable women and that's somehow a better solution than using whatever economic pressure you can exert to get the convention itself to up its safety game is... absurd.

For starters, it's rarely obvious to strangers when a person at a convention is dealing with harassment or abuse, and often isn't obvious even to people they know, so you're not going to be much help, thanks. (Also why would anyone trust a random male attendee?)

To be safe, vulnerable people at a convention don't need self-appointed male strangers to declare themselves their protectors: they need an actual codified--and enforced--code of conduct, reporting procedures, active security, etc.

C) You're giving money to a convention that appears to be unwilling to enforce its own code of conduct and prioritize attendee safety over having to deal with the minor awkwardness of telling a rapist he can't attend.

So how exactly is this incentivizing the convention to do better? Even assuming your self-appointed protector activities weren't doing more harm than good, as far as I can tell all the free labor does is DISINCENTIVIZE the convention from behaving responsibly.

D) a bazillion POC, women, and other gaming minorities have already laid out how "I will punch the abuser!!!" is not a helpful response to harassment and abuse and actually makes things worse. You're not able to "protect" us in a useful way.

Again, we don't need some dude escalating a bad situation into actual assault. We need solid policies, a reporting system, an active security presence, etc.

Like, look, it's one thing if you absolutely have to go because your employer will fire you if you don't. I get it. And in that case, I suggest you ask women/POC/enbies/other minorities you work with how you can best support them in this unsafe environment.

But for the "I have decided to attend and protect the wimminz!" men, as far as I can tell, all that's going on is you're ignoring women, doing what you wanted to do anyway, and proclaiming yourself a hero for doing so.