Thread by @rodneytwit

I think it is important I say some uncomfortable things to women today in an effort for them to face some harsh realities. I already know I'm wasting my time to place a disclaimer of any kind, because the words of a man are already seen as excuses, deflections, justifications etc

Men/women like to think they are experts when it comes to talking about each other, women talk to women, men talk to men...both sides end up with pretty much the same conclusions..."men are..." and "women are.." and we just keep on down that same road expecting changes

I'm not a psychologist or trained in whatever and even those who are have diff opinions, some popular some not...I think we can all agree in Jamaica women run homes, families, are in workroom to boardroom etc...women run tings...yet the narrative makes it seem otherwise

Sometimes the need to highlight women who are not empowered would give the feeling few women actually are...or even those who are still exist within a space so controlled by men that their voices, influence and power are almost nothing...I'm sorry, but I believe that's not true

If you sell a message of unemployment day in day out the man with a job will seem like an anomaly...if you sell greater employment many think a job is around the corner or far more possible...some negative messages sometimes reinforce the negative without us realising it

Across this country we have sold a message to women that men have power of all types and all the power possible, while women are powerless and need to become empowered...NO NO NO NO...THAT CANNOT CONTINUE TO BE EVEN A SUBTLE TONE IN MESSAGING to women...

The claim "if you keep telling a child he/she is worthless sooner or later they will believe it" is supposedly true...if so, isn't telling women "we need to get power/become powerful/share the power" telling many that they DON'T HAVE IT and sooner or later they will believe it?

Power...in 2019 we cannot keep selling women the idea that many stay in relationships because "it is men who have power"...when women sit faced with a dilemma and are told how power they DON'T HAVE the uphill climb is even harder mentally and emotionally

I don't want people telling me "you know how many women I meet who are powerless and.."...lots of you are helping many and I applaud your efforts...but is it wrong to LOOK AT WHAT I'M SAYING JUST BECAUSE I'M A MAN? We have created a belief of powerlessness in women unknowingly

Why do women stay with men? "Because of society...because of the power battle...because he earns more...because of the children...because of lack of support...because of...because.."..we keep telling women WHY THEY CAN'T...THEN...we try and tell them how they can...it works well?

We have socialised our boys (who become men) that women are products to be bought in numbers and eventually the best sophisticated domestic helper must be selected and called wife...let the men all hate me now...we have socialised girls (who become women) in the opposite

They have been socialised to find a good financial provider who will guarantee a good family life...what happens when you mix a man who's been taught to have 6 women, marry the best "wash, cook and clean" with a woman who's been taught to marry a provider? How that fi exist well?

He believes at some point he is the owner of a house, car, job...and wife

She believes the provider is the boss

We have even used scripture to reinforce the philosophy that men have THE power and women are secondary...HOW DAT FI BE EQUALITY in a relationship?

Every time we hear tragic stories we keep finding every possible way to place "power" in the hands of men to explain why things turned out wrong...why must we keep selling the idea that because SOME women fall in the category we must paintbrush an entire nation of women as weak?

Friend of mine for 20 years, married 11 years, only discovered February 2019 she's been hospitalized and beaten for about 7 years...she has 5 brothers of deadly constitution...I asked if he knew her brothers were deadly, yes...did her brothers know what's been going on? Yes...BUT

She said they knew of the constant arguments and how badly the relationship was sleeping in different rooms etc...she never once told them he beat her up...why? She knows how her brothers are and didn't want THEM facing trouble...I told her an uncomfortable truth she never knew

I told her that she wasn't protecting her brothers, what she was doing is protecting him...she didn't get it and it took about 10minutes for her to catch it...she spent years making sure her brothers were safe from problems, but once her husband realised they didn't show up?

Clearly it meant she didn't tell them...the more he did it and they didn't show up is the less he had to fear....what she did was release the reigns of her power to a man by seeking to protect her younger brothers...her girlfriends knew and swore secrecy...what dis they tell her?

"Girl he has the power over you but you need to get the strength to leave...you feel powerless right now but we're here for you..." I disagreed and showed her otherwise...she called ONE BROTHER, he picked her up, went to the house, "talked to the husband", moved her out in 1 day

Brother cried like a baby while I tried to calm his drinking...he couldn't believe his sister stayed for years just because she wanted to protect her brothers...I told her "you always had the power and see...yuh prove it"...not saying challenges don't exist, but women powerful

Again let me say...I'm not knocking the academics, practitioners, social workers etc for the mammoth task they face with women...I'm just saying some other messages NEED to start...girls need to hear more than boys have the power or women hearing men have the power...

We MUST teach them about individual power over power struggle, finding a man of CHARACTER over means, independence over needing a man to "complete you"...and we have to socialise boys to want ambition over power, leadership over being a master

Men, stop believing the true test of your son is how many girls he has at 13...you might have done it and settled down now but it took you 20 years...women, stop bragging how many girls love your son and how your house is like a modelling agency...that's the man he will become

Most of all I want to share the lesson we must all learn...children learn what they see, not what they hear...believing you're helping children by staying together in a bad relationship is rubbish...they see and know more than you realise and THAT is more damaging than separation

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