Thread by @WIRED

Think your sex life is weird? Well perk up, you’re not alone. From panda porn to freaky fish, the animal kingdom is right there with us in terms of odd sexual habits. Let’s get down to, um, business: 1/

Did your partner think your gift was weird? Next time, hand over some gelatinous packets containing both sperm and nutrients, just for them. It seems to work pretty well for fireflies: wired.com/2013/02/valent… 2/

Feeling like your partner doesn't give you enough praise in the sack? Tell them to be more like elephants, who loudly trumpet, dance, and even urinate in excitement upon completion: wired.com/2013/02/sexy-s… 3/

Think being a player is cool? This shrew-like marsupial mates so frantically with so many females in three weeks that he goes blind, bleeds internally, and drops dead.

So yeah let that be a lesson: wired.com/2014/05/absurd… 4/

Thought you were having a rough day? Sea cucumbers routinely have pearlfish swim into their bums for shelter. Sometimes they’ll eat the gonads, other times they mate inside.

Your day's not that bad: wired.com/2015/02/animal… 5/

Feel like your partner is too controlling? At least they aren't like the Ophiocordyceps fungus, which invades an ant’s brain, chemically mind-controls the bug up into a tree, and then erupts from the ant’s head to rain down spores on the ground below:
wired.com/2016/10/evolut… 6/